Saturday, June 28, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
- My friends
- Parents who love me just as I am (good and bad)
- A job that I like (the majority of the time)
- Good health (knock on wood)
- Full head of hair (even though it has some gray in it)
- A full, nice set of teeth (yay braces!)
- Being able to live and dress myself all on my own (most days)
- Not having a huge student loan to pay off
- Being able to "afford my life," even though some more money wouldn't hurt
- My knitting group (I always look forward to 10 minutes of knitting, dinner and then an hour or more of gossip)
- All ten fingers and toes (even though my center of balance isn't great)
- Being able to successfully manage my way living in Chicago
- Public transportation (CTA) even if it's not the most reliable (cabs are so expensive now)
- Being able to look at life with a glass half-full attitude
- Finding something new and beautiful every day (I know this sounds sappy but it's true)
- Being able to laugh at just about anything
- No credit card debt
- Being brave enough to leave school in Wisconsin and chase a crazy dream to Minnesota to study
- My blosse :) because honestly when I started this, I had no idea of anyone would read it but I'm glad you all do
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
- Unmarried with a kid (some with multiple kids)
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
In college, I got in trouble for minorly defacing property because my friend asked me to go to a frat's keg party. I originally declined because I had plans with my eventual boyfriend, but all she had to say was, "Jess we'll go for 10 minutes, 10 minutes and we'll leave after that." Yeah right. Four hours later we were both drunk on Boones Farm and busted by the rival keg house for defacing school property were permanent markers. Oops.
Fortunately, the college peer pressure I caved in to did not involve a beer bong or something that would end up on YouTube, but even in my late 20s, peer pressure is still there and I still cave to it, but this time it's a bit more expensive (but no longer requires getting school officials or the police involved.)
The kind of peer pressure I am referring to is the social shopping peer pressure. The kind where you go out with your parents and friend, not intending to spend money (like me this weekend) and come back with three bags from Pottery Barn and one from Banana Republic. To be fair, everything was 30-50 percent off (minus a bracelet) but still. My friend Ryan calls me the "enabler" because any time he sees something he likes, I tend to say, "you should buy that," and he usually will, after he nicely curses at me for reinforcing what his head is telling him, which is that he should really buy that DVD/CD/shirt/man-bag/etc.
In the hall of fame though is my stepmom, who is the ultimate in peer pressure selling. When I called her to convince me not to buy a Kate Spade messenger bag (on sale again), her line was, "well Jess you can always return it." And like a moth to the flame, I bought it and still have that (and use it). Watching her work her magic on others, I know when she's close to convincing them because she will actually take their purse or other shopping bags to hold so that they can go up and buy what they've been contemplating. Genius.
My friends Liz and Sarah are also close seconds to her, although Sarah is a bit more aggressive in her peer pressure selling technique. She's made me spend much more money than necessary on things by saying the standard girl-influential lines, "they look great on you," "that [shirt/skirt/etc] makes you look so thin," and the ultimate line that I've used (with success) on my friends, "[insert name] you deserve it." You're totally right, I do.
So my message for the kids today is this: peer pressure is okay (in the social shopping sense) as long as you know your limits. If I have buyers remorse or second thoughts, I have zero problem with returning items I've bought, or re-arranging my budget for this pay period so that I can have it. Be smart and shop and enjoy your post-shopping trip with a fashion show of all your new stuff. Love it.
Oh and the line, "we'll go for 10 minutes" doesn't always work anymore on me for parties. Sometimes I'm literally tracking time on my cell phone while for others, 10 minutes becomes several hours, without permanent markers.
Friday, June 13, 2008
- Guidance counselor
- Game show host (maybe the phrase "no whammies, no whammies" is in my future)
- Stand-up comedienne
I admit, I did have to laugh at the guidance counselor recommendation. When I asked why she chose that profession for me, she thought for a second and said, "you'd keep it real with the kids, tell them when their dreams are too big or aren't realistic." She might have a point there. But as a child whose parents have worked in education, I don't think the school system is for me, although I would love to have the summer off. I've seen how tough it is for teachers and I don't think I have that level of patience in me.
So then I thought about stand-up comedy. I think I'm pretty funny and entertaining but I don't think that's the right more for me either. I have this horrible prophecy about turning out like Kathy Griffin, given that I love pop culture and swear like a trucker. Don't get me wrong, I love her, but I don't want to become her. And since my original choices of being a doctor, Solid Gold dancer and international supermodel didn't pan out, I need to be a bit more realistic with my choices.
Before I moved to Chicago, I had just about given up on my current profession after a bad string of jobs in Wisconsin. My current company was my last chance at making it in the communications field. If it didn't work out there, I was moving back to Wisconsin and flipping to a coin to decide if I should go to law school or nursing school (I think the latter would have won). Fortunately, I came to Chicago for a three month internship and am still here over three years later and things are actually going pretty well so I'll stick it out, but it never hurts to have options :)
Any comments from my blosse about career options that I can add to the list? Someone mentioned "personal shopper" to me, which is nearly perfect because I love to shop and spend other people's money. So that's another one to add to my list of possible careers.
Note: I just wanted to clarify that I'm not thinking of leaving my job, I like my job but always like to hear interesting ideas of what else I could do if my current career doesn't work out long term :)
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
- I'm selfish (I really am, I like doing what I want, when I want)
- I can barely take care of myself (what I constitute as dinner would horrify some)
- I'm not the most patient and tolerant person (I have a short temper about things)
- I don't know how to relate to kids (why can't they watch the Colbert Report with me and understand the jokes??)
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
- Has a job that isn't illegal
- Has job aspirations or goals
- Is financially-stable
Are these really too high of standards? I don't think so!
But then as friends and I started talking about dating, the subject of "dating deal breakers" came up.
Dating deal breakers are basically traits or quirks of a potential mate that bother you enough that they would cause you to break off the relationship, if necessary. Much like my list above, I thought about the things that really are important to me for any guy I would date and consider marrying.
Sadly, there were several things on that list...but again some of them are traits that I would hope none of my friends would want in a spouse or boyfriend. Some of these deal breakers might be catty but here they are.
Jess' deal breakers:
- Smoking - I hate it. I'm sorry but the guy would have to quit if he really wants to date me and I would have to clean down his entire house so the smell is gone. Hate it.
- Multiple tattoos - I don't mind one or two tattoos but if we're talking about "sleeves" or something scratched on his neck or across his stomach (a la "Thug Life"), no thank you.
- Shorter than me - I am a petite woman, 5' 3" to be exact, so after much thought, I really don't think I can date someone my height or shorter. I love tall guys and honestly, if the guy is my height, he's probably underage, so I can't have him anyhow :)
- Lack of physical health - This is not meant to be catty but I work out, I'm active and I try to watch what I eat. I don't want a guy who will make me feel bad about myself for not eating organic foods, etc. but I want a guy who also takes care of himself physically. I want tickets to the gun show!
- No sense of humor - I love to laugh and I'm told I have a good sense of humor myself so someone who can make me laugh (which doesn't take much) and who enjoys laughing is important too.
- Doesn't verbally abuse me - I can't imagine someone who likes being told awful things about themself, like being fat, ugly, etc. so I don't want that either!
Sunday, June 8, 2008
I hate the humidity, I really do. My straight hair does too because it curls in a Carol Brady-way. So without further ado, here we go!
To beat the heat on Friday, friends of mine and I met up at Tavern on the Park for a few drinks – because alcohol cools you down (not really). Fortunately the bar wasn’t too packed so my friend Mike and I asked about getting a table so we could all actually engage in conversation. The host (without saying a word) just shakes his head when we ask about a table so as we’re about to settle at the bar, another hostess comes up to us and says that us our table was ready. Ah….okay! We were mistaken for another party and got a HUGE booth at the end of the bar, complete with a leather, covered table. Leather – awesome.
Once we were all assembled and caught up on Mike’s new job, my brother’s wedding and anything else of interest to all of us, Ryan proposed a bold idea…Russian Tea Time, near the Art Institute. I’m not a big fan of Russian food – at all – but fortunately we weren’t going there for eating. We were going for its famous vodka flights :) Yes, I opted to “make my own flight,” complete with three, one-ounce, ice-cold shots of Russian vodka in Horseradish, Coriander and Chocolate. And I’ll tell you, three of those shots later – you’re ready to bark at the moon, which I all but did. At $13/flight, it’s kind of pricey but damn that Horseradish vodka was good, especially when you can cleanse your vodka palate with dill pickles!
Last week, Kay tagged me for a music-themed meme so you all will be subjected again to finding out more things about me :) Fortunately, this time you will spared from hearing about more embarrassing things from my past.
And away we go….
1. Put your iTunes/ music player on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT
After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves!
IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
“Hey Ya!” Outkast
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
"Bubbly" Colbie Caillet
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"Everything is Everything" Lauren Hill
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"All Good Things (Come to an End) Nelly Furtado
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
"Heat of the Moment" Asia
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"Far Away" Nickelback
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
"Live and Let Die" Guns N' Roses
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"I Am A Rock" Simon and Garfunkel
WHAT IS 2+2?
"Naughty Girl" Beyonce
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"Jerk it Out" Caesar's Palace
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Accidentally in Love" Counting Crows
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"Gimme More" Britney Spears
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"Holiday" Green Day
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Hips Don't Lie" Shakira
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"Where is the Love" Black Eyed Peas
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"Wheel in the Sky" Journey (My note: Hell's yes we're dancing to Journey - woo hoo!)
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"It's Not Right" Whitney Houston
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"L.O.V.E" Ashlee Simpson
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"Can't Stop" Ozomatli
WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
"Somewhere Only We Know" Keane
Okay this was an awesome iPod shuffle that I just had. Hilarious. Yes, I have Asia on my iPod and I love Journey. I have a very random taste in music.
So what did everyone else do this weekend?
Friday, June 6, 2008
It was great to see that I'm not alone in my freakish and girly tendencies. And I want to say a big thanks to Rachel for trying to lure my mean-intentioned commenter out in the open. You tell 'em! (Also Rebecca came up with the "blosse" term, which stands for "blog posse" - genius).
In my 100 things, I did forget to mention my paper mache rabbit/cat Bubbles and the whole "dancing on the bar" incident in college, but that's for another time. Also, at Maxie's suggestion, I will one day blog about the cat fight I got into on a double date, that is a good one.
So because it's Friday, and it's still f*cking hot in Chicago, I have to share the video treat that my cube-neighbor Laura shared with all of us at work today. Honestly, this is exactly how I feel some days (including this week) at the office. This is my first time embedding video so let's hope this works!
Happy Friday everyone! Lots of love out in the blosse-sphere.
Office Worker Goes Absolutely Insane - Watch more free videos
Thursday, June 5, 2008
On Monday Rachel decided to play hardball and tag me for a meme where I have to list 100 things about myself. To be honest, it wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be and I came up with my 100 things pretty quick. Considering the week I've had so far, this could be a good thing. Shows the brain is still sharp.
This might be more information than you ever wanted to know about me but fortunately it’s not too much in the TMI category.
So without further ado, let’s pull the curtain back on my sick and twisted mind and see what I dug out.
- My porn name is Kala 122
- In military time, I was born at 23:23
- I am not a cat person
- I want a dog
- I used to have blonde hair and red hair
- I’m jealous of my stepbrothers
- I want to wander around Europe aimlessly
- I slept on the floor of a train station in Germany once
- My first kiss was at 18
- First time I was drunk was at 19
- I went to Graceland on Spring Break in college
- I met Bill Clinton at a Disney Store in SF
- I’ve thrown up in a cab – twice
- I’ve been to a taping of Conan O’Brien, Letterman and the Daily Show in NY
- I got to see the Olympic torch run through Times Square
- I had my picture taken with Bucky Badger at a wedding
- I love college football
- I went to the U of Minn. but really wanted to go to Madison
- I have seen the Eiffel Tower
- I made out with a guy once after drinking a bottle of wine and forgot his name
- I’ve been carried home drunk my girlfriends twice
- I cannot play fooseball
- I love playing tennis
- My first real boyfriend was in college
- I’ve only been in love once
- My parents named me after I was delivered and they “looked at me”
- My middle name is Mary, so is my mom’s
- I’m horribly insecure
- I wore glasses until my senior year of high school
- I was in forensics in high school
- I never went to prom
- I had braces for 4 years
- I decided to lose weight after waking up drunk on my bathroom floor two years ago
- I tried to “smoke a bowl” a few times, unsuccessfully
- I met my first boyfriend at a debate event
- The first compliment I ever got was “you’re the most intelligent woman I know”
- I worry that if something happens to my dad, I’ll be alone
- I’m a homebody
- I want to get married
- I want to have kids (contrary to popular belief)
- I struggle with depression on and off
- I love television
- I’m cheap
- I fear ending up poor
- I love purses
- I used to look like a boy (before the boobs came in)
- I like naked time
- I tried internet dating but didn’t get any “bites”
- I dated a guy who “felt up” my house
- I dated another guy who worked with my dad (oops)
- I’ve made out with my girlfriends for money
- I tried to eat a guy’s Birkenstock once
- I stayed up until 6 a.m. to take the Madrid Metro back to my hotel
- I speak German and French
- I love to laugh
- I pierced my ears four times, thinking it would prove I'm a "rebel"
- I wish I would have met my late grandmothers
- I used to play clarinet and violin
- I was on the TODAY show
- I got in a catfight once on a double date
- I’ve been in a fist fight
- I love going to the movies
- I eat coffee cake in the dark
- I used to wear baggy clothes because I was embarrassed by my body
- I work out 3-4 days a week and I’m still not totally happy with my body
- I love to shop
- I want to run the Chicago marathon one day
- I don’t know if I believe in true love
- I’ve told several friends they’re making a mistake by dating certain guys
- I watched my friend get beaten by her boyfriend
- I used to wear L.A. Gear shoes
- The first movie I saw was E.T.
- The first concert I went to was Bon Jovi
- I have bent toes
- I love when someone mentions me on their blog (unless it’s negative)
- I crave acceptance by my peers
- I might actually be “dead inside”
- I hate inattentive parenting
- I hate being too hot in the summer
- I have bad circulation in my feet and hands
- I didn’t have hair until I was 2 years old
- My hair was white/blonde when I was a baby
- My first car was a Plymouth Lazer
- I loved my Honda Civic
- I love driving
- I hate flying
- Everyone calls me Jess
- As a kid, I fell off my sled and took off all the skin on one side of my face
- I read a lot of magazines, and have a lot delivered to my house
- I get a nervous eye tick when I’m stressed out
- I have had a root canal (it sucks)
- I weight train to work out my stress/anger
- I have anger management issues
- I wanted to be a doctor and a dancer on Solid Gold
- I have OCD, mildly
- I’m anal retentive and a perfectionist
- I want my blog to grow and grow and grow
- I like to iron clothes
- I compulsively check my purse for my house keys
- I like to have show fashion shows in my apartment
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
- You've been in a serious accident and/or are going to the hospital
- Someone we know has died or another family member was in a serious accident
- You're coming into town unexpectedly and I'm getting a free dinner and ride home from work
- You've put money in my bank account because you love me
- You won the lottery and are buying me a condo
- The house has burned down
These are all acceptable situations to call me at my desk.
My dad, god love him, is also guilty of leaving a 5-minute voicemail message in the mornings on his way to work. This message is left on my work phone, which I check when I get in. But no matter how many times I've told him that I don't have time to listen to a 5-minute message and that I delete it after minute 1.5, he still leaves it. A couple of times I've gotten busted for not listening to the entire thing because he'll ask me questions later in the message (i.e. dinner locations when I come home for a visit) and I obviously don't respond (because I didn't hear them). When he mentions it later to me, I end up fibbing and saying the message cut out.
So am I an awful child? Maybe/maybe not. But I'd like to think that on the whole, my positive daughter traits outweigh the negatives.
Follow up from yesterday's "fashion flaw" post
Thanks everyone for the great feedback to yesterday's post, I'm so glad that I'm not alone in this thinking. Phew. I promise that if I bump into any of you on the street and you happen to commit any of those flaws that I won't judge you at all.
I do have to say though, I really hate the ill-fitting sandals thing though. I have big feet so I can't judge others, but seriously, shoes that fit are a great thing. No toes hanging over or heels half-off the shoe. Ick. I am an offender at not keeping up on a pedicure though so even I'm not exempt. I need to take my own advice.
Monday, June 2, 2008
- Badly fitting sandals - hint: if your heel is hanging off the back of the shoe, it doesn't fit
- Inappropriate cleavage - I know it's fun and here to stay, but don't let it all "hang out." Trust me, I'll try to throw food in there
- Too much bra-exposure - this goes back to the cleavage point, I know you wear a bra, you don't have to prove it or show it to me. I'm not that kind of girl
- Lack of bra - the flip side to the above. I know it's warm but I don't need to see you flopping around like a fish
- CWI's - They shouldn't be showing in summer or any other season. Tape 'em down or make sure your bra has a good lining
- Smoldering sausage - form-fitting clothes are okay, especially for curvy girls in summer (because flouncy tops suck) but you shouldn't be muffin-topping out of that outfit. It just might not fit anymore, it's sad but you have to let it go
- Short-shorts and bra tops - This infraction comes in if you're not a) bone-thin or b) size 0. Sometimes you just can't wear certain styles, it's not your fault. Blame your parents and their genes. And yes, people are staring at you