Guest post: Non-Bachelorette material

This hilarious post comes from Alexa at Cleveland's a Plum. And I have to say, ITA with her below that I could never be a reality TV star.

for many years i didn’t watch any of the seasons of the bachelor or the bachlorette because let’s be honest, it’s cliché as hell.

but for whatever reason my roommate and i really got into the last bachelor season with jason, melissa, holly and the second runner up jillian.

jillian is truthfully why we are watching this season’s bachelorette at all – we love her. the dreamy bachelor’s vying for her attention don’t hurt either (i’m looking at your ed and reid).

but after watching week after week I have decided that as much as I love the show i could never (EVER) be the bachelorette for a few specific reasons:

1. no one needs to make out that much with that many people. just image what would happen if there was a mono outbreak!

believe you me, i’ve been known to be quite the make out bandit in my hay day but having random lizard tongues flicking me at every turn would be a bit much

2. knowing that my family and friends would be watching me make out that much

the fact that at times I have to cover my eyes because i can’t watch the awkwardness of the smoochy boochy pillow talk and it’s people i don’t even know, i can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like for people that know me in real life

3. getting fed constant bullshit

there’s no possible way that every single one of those guys are falling in love with her, it’s bull caca. watching some of the contestants is like watching a slimy salesman selling themselves for sloppy kisses. (except for ed and reid, they can do no wrong)

4. “i think i’m falling in love with you”, “no i love you more”, “i never thought i could fall in love this fast”, “i don’t normally have feelings like this”

when i hear those phrases all that comes through is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. i think there should be a drinking game associated with the bachelor and bachelorette that when any of those lines are uttered you have drink

and yet, I still watch – every. single. episode.

maybe i’m jaded, maybe i’m turning into a bitter old spinster, but i just don’t think i could be the bachelorette. that and the fact that the idea of me frolicking around a sausage fest in a bikini is something that no one deserves to see.

so what do you think - could you put yourself out there and be the bachelorette (or bachelor)? what about even just being a contestant?