Wednesday, July 2, 2008

My approach to making out with guys

As as just about everyone knows by now, I am not very good at flirting. Actually I think I might be more "action than talk" when it comes to guys because I don't know what to say to them, especially in the heat of the moment, so I tend to just stop talking and tell them what I want or coax them into doing what I want.

That method seems to get a pretty good response from members of the opposite sex too so I keep with this approach because if it ain't broke, I'm not fixing it. 

Last weekend, someone told me that I'm the most "brutally honest" person he's ever met and well, I would be lying if I said that's the first time I've had a man say that to me.

I blame my caveman approach with guys, specifically when it comes to making out, on my first boyfriend, Peter (names have been changed to protect his identity). Peter was a great guy and I actually saw myself marrying him, but he was more of an "I don't want to disrespect you" kind of guy, which is sweet at first. And I was fine with the getting-to-know-you stuff and talking and whatever when we first met and started dating.

But when you're 19-years-old and crazy in love, you don't want to talk after a certain point or be regulated to just hand-holding. You want to make out and that's what he had a difficult time leading to. So after we had been together for awhile, there was more than one occasion where I had to be the "instigator" or just say, "hey can we stop talking and make out now?"

Who has to ask for that? Hi, I'm pawing at you like a bear and leaning in very close, that's a sign to kiss me. If I had a nickel for every time I had to hint (not very subtly) that I wanted to make out, I would be able to pay off my college loans. Yes, I'm not kidding, but am being slightly dramatic. These hints usually consisted of me pushing him around to corner him or playfully wrestling so I could get him in a submissive state. I hate being the dominant one sometimes and Peter has ruined the whole "submissive" thing for me.

I think near the end of our relationship, he just gave up like an animal. Ironically, that wasn't what contributed to us breaking up, but I'm sure my overly aggressive nature didn't help.

Another example of my making out approach occurred when I was living in Germany for a semester in college. All of the American students went to a bar in a dorm every Thursday night for cheap food and beer/wine. Well one night after a bottle of Chianti, I had been eyeing up another American student for a long time and decided to move in for the kill.

After engaging in some small talk, I opted to "corner him" by stealing his Birkenstock and refusing to give it back until we made out. Yes I did this rather than just tell him that I like him. Once he realized I was serious, he complied (willingly of course) and when we were done kissing, he asked how it was and the only thing I was coherent enough to say was, "not bad, really, but I've had better." Yes I did actually say that. To no surprise, we did not make out again after that incident. Feel free to laugh, it's funny...now.

My Chicago bloggy buddy Jenn has illustrated on her blog tonight a wonderful Paint picture of beating a man into submission (with a Wii remote this time) in order to make out. It's a genius idea and self-serving to both parties.

Am I the only one who does this? 

25 comments:

Rachel said...

How I got Dan to make out with me the first time...

I put my boobs on his leg

I'm classy like that

Erin said...

You're not alone. I've had to coax a couple guys into making out. It's nuts. Aren't men supposed to be trying a little bit harder?

thatShortChick said...

LOL. wow, I kinda see a book in your future about your dating life.

and I would gladly go buy it.

Jenn said...

I can't believe you told him "I've had better" haha!

I like Rachel's comment. I'll have to keep that in mind for future makeout sessions.

thegoodnamesaretaken said...

Haha. I can't believe you didn't make out again after you told the guy you'd had better ;)

For the record, I wish I were a bit more straightforward and forceful. It would eliminate a lot of the guesswork.

Maxie said...

You are ridic. It doesn't surprise me you'd say that though. I remember one time I tried to get out of making out by saying I had bad breath and it didnt work. Sad times.

Princess Pointful said...

Um, yes.
I'm pretty much a sexual predator.
And to think I look so innocent...

EP said...

Haha. You make me SO happy. And if I had the guts you did, I wouldn't have been 19 when I had my first kiss because I would have demanded it earlier. Hmm...

Dan Mega said...

Ahaha! That's freaking awesome that you said that. If a girl ever said that to me I'd be all LOL, for real.

Lauren said...

Now THOSE are good techniques.

I once told a guy who I liked at a party that my friend said I should kiss him and, clearly, I have to do everything she tells me to do.

I'm not very slick.

L Sass said...

My style is sort of like yours. I've been known to blatantly stare at a guy in a bar until he comes and talks to me!

lifeintheleftlane said...

I like your corner him moves. It's a pretty smart idea. I did crack up though when you told him you've had better. Classic! I had a friend do that once when she thought the guy was gone, but he was still in hearing range.

Happy 4th!

Claire said...

I don't like to think of it as being aggressive, I like to spin it as knowing who I want and being confident enough to go after them. I talked to one of my best college friends recently and she said, "You were awesome. We used to go out and just watch you work."

megkathleen said...

You are definitely not the only one. I've lost count of the number times I've wished the guy would grow a pair and make a move. I'm all for the cornering and "Playful wrestling" moves. They usually work.

Alexa said...

a lot of my moves when it comes to boys is stirred up from alcohol.

the drunken booty call text, the just going at it at a bar, to car makingout.... but the best line i have ever used is - hey we should probably just start making out and just get it over with.

yup. that's me.

Angela said...

Please please PLEASE learn some new tricks to make out! Won't YOU get tired of doing the same cornering routine?

barbetti said...

Oh man, I think I could have posted this, changing a few details here and there. When DB and I first met, he told me he was so amazed at how brutally honest I was as well. But flirting? I'm not exactly a pro at that....

Rachel said...

btw I just gave you an award

it's cheesy I know, but feel free to squeal anyways

classy & fabulous said...

"ive had betteR" hahahahahahaahahahahahahahha thanks for making me laugh :)

Joy @ Big Time Fancy said...

I KNOW I've asked a guy, "So are you gonna kiss me now, or what?"

So romantic, aren't I?

Fabulously Broke said...

I'd have to say I've never done that.... I'm usually the one that makes them pant after me.

I once had a guy so aggressive to make out with me even though I kept trying to fight him off and turn my head that I kneed him in the balls.

Does that help? :)

Thanks for coming by the blog!

Added you to my reader

and I'm going to link this post cuz I love it LOL

redstaplernation said...

Hah, that was so ME with my high school boyfriend! I actually called him before homecoming and said "Everyone says you're going to ask me to homecoming and it's in two days. Will you go ahead and do it?" And I had to instigate the making out that followed. Sigh.

Gretchen said...

My first boyfriend once told me I had a "Kiss me, Stupid!" glare. It annoyed me I had to use it as often as I did, but hey, it worked!

Sam Suza said...

I can't believe you didn't make out again after you told the guy you'd had better. I wish I were a bit more straightforward and forceful. It would eliminate a lot of the guesswork.

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