As as just about everyone knows by now, I am not very good at flirting. Actually I think I might be more "action than talk" when it comes to guys because I don't know what to say to them, especially in the heat of the moment, so I tend to just stop talking and tell them what I want or coax them into doing what I want.
That method seems to get a pretty good response from members of the opposite sex too so I keep with this approach because if it ain't broke, I'm not fixing it.
Last weekend, someone told me that I'm the most "brutally honest" person he's ever met and well, I would be lying if I said that's the first time I've had a man say that to me.
I blame my caveman approach with guys, specifically when it comes to making out, on my first boyfriend, Peter (names have been changed to protect his identity). Peter was a great guy and I actually saw myself marrying him, but he was more of an "I don't want to disrespect you" kind of guy, which is sweet at first. And I was fine with the getting-to-know-you stuff and talking and whatever when we first met and started dating.
But when you're 19-years-old and crazy in love, you don't want to talk after a certain point or be regulated to just hand-holding. You want to make out and that's what he had a difficult time leading to. So after we had been together for awhile, there was more than one occasion where I had to be the "instigator" or just say, "hey can we stop talking and make out now?"
Who has to ask for that? Hi, I'm pawing at you like a bear and leaning in very close, that's a sign to kiss me. If I had a nickel for every time I had to hint (not very subtly) that I wanted to make out, I would be able to pay off my college loans. Yes, I'm not kidding, but am being slightly dramatic. These hints usually consisted of me pushing him around to corner him or playfully wrestling so I could get him in a submissive state. I hate being the dominant one sometimes and Peter has ruined the whole "submissive" thing for me.
I think near the end of our relationship, he just gave up like an animal. Ironically, that wasn't what contributed to us breaking up, but I'm sure my overly aggressive nature didn't help.
Another example of my making out approach occurred when I was living in Germany for a semester in college. All of the American students went to a bar in a dorm every Thursday night for cheap food and beer/wine. Well one night after a bottle of Chianti, I had been eyeing up another American student for a long time and decided to move in for the kill.
After engaging in some small talk, I opted to "corner him" by stealing his Birkenstock and refusing to give it back until we made out. Yes I did this rather than just tell him that I like him. Once he realized I was serious, he complied (willingly of course) and when we were done kissing, he asked how it was and the only thing I was coherent enough to say was, "not bad, really, but I've had better." Yes I did actually say that. To no surprise, we did not make out again after that incident. Feel free to laugh, it's funny...now.
My Chicago bloggy buddy Jenn has illustrated on her blog tonight a wonderful Paint picture of beating a man into submission (with a Wii remote this time) in order to make out. It's a genius idea and self-serving to both parties.
Am I the only one who does this?