Lately, I've been thinking about a question that my homey Alexa asked me when we dished about date #2 with JohnBoy one day on Gchat.
She asked me if I felt any butterflies when JohnBoy and I kissed (several times) and it took me a few minutes to respond.
My answer: I don't know.
Butterflies? Wow, I haven't really felt those in a LONG time. And do they feel different as a jaded adult trying to date?
I remember the old days of "butterflies," feeling totally lovesick, so much that you can't wait to see someone or just the thought of them makes me go all giggly inside. That feeling where when someone touches or kisses you, you feel like an explosion is going off in your stomach and the butterflies could just take you over until you see that person again. Or that feeling where you try to pick up the phone to call but you're so nervous you hang up after one ring. Done that.
But when you come from a divorced family, who has made the idea of love a little...difficult to stomach, can you still have that feeling?
I'm not saying butterflies won't be there one day with a guy or even JohnBoy but is it kind of weird that I don't feel those sparks?
It might be because it's been so long since I've kissed a guy (I know, lame), but I felt very....uncomfortable for a moment when we were on our date. But then again, I usually feel uncomfortable from male attention since...guys don't really go for me. And my friends, who are so sweet like all of you, who are excited for me, wonder why I'm not more excited about this and the reason is: I'm not used to it, I need to take it slow.
So after I told Alexa, "I don't know," I did say, "I didn't feel butterflies yet but he makes me smile, laugh, holds doors open for me and tells me that I'm pretty. And I like the way he makes me feel."
Maybe for now, that's something right there.
So I'm not ruling anything out, but are "butterflies" really important? Or do they come with time?
Note: I'm so glad I'm not the only one stocked with weddings this summer. Holy cow, there is something in the air. But I will try to stock up on "squeaky" cheese curds for everyone. Squeaky cheese, you guys crack me up!