The dating "cut off" age

When I posted last week about my matchmaker FAIL, someone asked if I would really have dated the 38 year old man that I was being set up with. Honestly, I don't know, but at this point, I look at it with a "why not" attitude. But that comment did get me to think about a "cut off" age for dating.

Age may be just a number, but in dating, everyone has some cut off age or magic number they prefer not to go above. A man's maturity definitely makes a difference, but I don't know if I see myself dating a guy over the age of 36, at least right off the bat. Or I don't know if I could date a guy who is more than two or three years younger than me too. Pride and the rise in "cougars" has something to do with my feelings about dating a younger man, but I'm not opposed to it.

Ironically, when I tried online dating, my personal ad generated a lot of responses from younger guys, actually guys between the ages of 19-21. That definitely didn't help the "cougar" feeling.

Most of the guys I've dated have actually been about one to two years younger than me and the only issue I had with them was maturity. This can be a big dealbreaker. I don't want a guy that is 29 but acts like he's 20. No thank you. But I don't want to date a mature guy who is rounding 40 either. It's a tough situation. And I'm sure my celeb crushes on some older male celebrities doesn't help either. 

The cut off age isn't a make or break rule with guys but it's moreso something I use for...screening purposes. That and I get tired of older guys asking me how old I was in the early 70s, because the answer is always the same, "I wasn't born yet."

So has anyone else dated a much older or younger man? Which do you prefer? How old is too old when dating guys? Or am I the only person who has a cut off dating age?

Key Learnings, Twilight and holiday lights

Thanksgiving is less than a week away now and I cannot wait to go home, put my comfy pants on for the holiday and let grandma get her annual insult in at the family meal. Happy Thanksgiving to us!

So let's recap my weekend because it was pretty productive. Trust me, it surprised me too.

Key Learnings:

• Chicago bloggers are awesome (actually, I already knew that - it's a fact)

• Sangria tastes yummy but can give you a serious headache

• Any bar with beer pong is okay by me! (although I'm better at flip cup)

• Baked mac and cheese tastes like heaven on a cold night

• Brunch with awesome blog friends is a great way to start your Sunday

• Standing in flower beds on Michigan Avenue is acceptable, as long as you don't kill foliage

• Sometimes tourists need to learn the "Chicago way" the tough way

• It's always good to act like a kid again, within reason

• Everyone should dedicate at least two hours on a Sunday to lounging on the couch with mindless television

• Reading books takes a lot of time away reading other things....like magazines, which leads them to make a large stack on your coffee table

Twilight: The Movie (spoiler-free)

So this little movie called Twilight opened on Friday. I think it's based on a popular book, but I'm not sure. I'm not a big reader :)

Anyhow, the movie has gotten a lot of mixed reviews, but my curiosity was getting the best of me so I had to go check it out, and hopefully avoid screaming teens. In my late 20s, I'm not in the mood for it.

When the movie was finally done, I had one thought. It was only....okay. 

I knew it wouldn't be a good as the books or as vivid as my imagination of the characters, but I honestly expected a little more.  Despite the slight deviations from the book storyline, I was a little disappointed. 

The angst was too much as was the hamminess of several scenes, but the one major, overarching issue I had with the movie was the casting of Rosalie and Carlisle. They just did not work for me. But Robert Pattinson is still good looking and Bella is how I envisioned her, so that was good.

My verdict: Read the books before seeing the movie

Lighting up Michigan Avenue

One of my first memories of Chicago was the lights on Michigan Avenue. Just before Thanksgiving, the city celebrates the lighting of one million lights on the Mag Mile to kick off the holiday season. 

We never came down for the lighting, but every year after Christmas, dad and I would come down to shop the post-holiday sales and see the trees lit up. I vividly remember walking down Michigan Avenue looking at all the lights, which were mesmerizing for a kid from Wisconsin. 

I look forward to this every year and now that I live in Chicago, I go every year to watch the city turn on the lights. This year wasn't as cold, which meant more people piled downtown. I'm a little sensitive to crowds after the Obama rally, but it was still fun, and after some prodding, Liz and I ended up standing in a flower bed on Michigan Avenue to enjoy the parade. No foliage was hurt and we got some awesome pictures. Here's one:

How was everyone else's weekend? Let me know what you thought of Twilight too, it sounds like I might have just been too picky :)

Reader note: Thanks everyone for your mascara tips. I need to write them all down and take the list with me to the store! I love hearing what other products people use. I'm also glad to see that I'm not the only Gap holiday ad fanatic or think it's too early for holiday decorations to be out. But after Friday, game on!

More things I'm (not) loving

Last weekend, I did a little window shopping, because I had to get out of my house to have some "alone time." 

In Chicago, going to Target is a luxury for those us without a car, so I basked in the beauty of the red bulls-eye at home and decided it was time to post another edition of...things I'm loving and not loving right now.

Plus, I need some reader help on mascara and hair dryers so help a girl out. I would greatly appreciate it :)

Things I'm loving:

• Scarves - Now that it's cool out, I am bringing out my insane scarf collection, which covers nearly the entire rainbow (with a focus in blue, no shock). Last weekend, I picked up this scarf in blue karma from Target and it's perfect. I'm sure a few more will join my collection this winter too

• Bad a** belts - Yet another Target find. I know, it's for teens, but it fits and gives me a sense of danger. It's a nice little statement under your clothes

• Uggs - My friends tease me about them, but they're perfect for fall and standing outside in the cold for the bus. Plus it's a nice little pop of color. I have them in pink and purple and you can spot me coming in a snow storm. Lead on Uggs!

• Down vests - Normally I'm not a "vest" girl, but they work with a nice sweater on a non-bone chilling day. Pair this with a cute scarf (see first bullet), the Uggs (previous bullet), jeans and sweater and you're ready to go!

• Tights - I hate feeling like a smoldering sausage the first time I wear them, but in winter, I love dressing up a skirt with fun tights. The DKNY ink blue ones I got last year are my favorites. I bought some in opaque black and charcoal gray herringbone too

• Cotton leggings - I know I said on Fabulously Broke in the City that they make me look stumpy, but they're comfortable to wear around the house. And the Hue D'Luxe ones make my butt look ridiculous in them. Junk in the trunk!

• Mario Badescu Kera moisturizer - My skin in the winter gets crazy dry so I put this on as an overnight moisturizer and it does the trick

• Arm warmers - It's like leg warmers for your hands and arms! I've seen them on a few blogs but every store in Madison had them. And I have to admit. I want some. Soooo, I dropped more hints to Santa and we'll see if some pop up in my Christmas stocking

• "Trouble is a Friend" by Lenka - I heard this on Grey's last week and literally dove for the computer to download it. Now it's on the iPod and I am diggin' it bigtime. It's not making me "superstar dance" like Rihanna, but I'm groovin'. I can't embed the video (YouTube won't let me!) but the link takes you to it

Things I'm not loving:

• Hair dryers - Mine fell apart last Friday (literally) and for the first time in three years, I had to go buy a new one. But because it's been so long, I don't remember what kind I like. I got a Conair ionic dryer, but I'm not sure if I like it. Any tips?

• Mascara - Oh I do love mascara (it's a must-have), but I'm looking to change up the brand I buy. Normally, I get Maybelline Lash Expansion and now I'm trying Sky-High Curves but I'm still not happy. I'm looking for something that will make my lashes look fuller without getting too clumpy. I'm throwing it out there again, any recommendations?

• Wool - I'm allergic, so lambswool is totally out. I can tolerate merino wool most of the time but in winter, I'm forced to layer up on cotton or my favorite, cashmere (when I can)

• Boots - I want to get a pair of riding boots for fall/winter but I can't find any in my price range. Apparently my legs weren't made for boots because I seem to always look like I have cankles. The hunt is on though

Well that's a pretty good list. And fortunately, the things I love outweigh I don't love.

Next week is a short one (yay!) because of the holiday so I need to be super productive this weekend. This includes the bloggy meet up tomorrow night, Sunday brunch, returning a shower head to Home Depot (which I've been meaning to do for a week) and my ultimate favorite, the Michigan Avenue Lights Festival. I'll have pictures Sunday, along with a full recap. 

Oh yeah and there is this movie coming out...I can't remember but I think it's Twilight. Yeah that's it, I guess I'll make time for that too ;)

Anyone else have big weekend plans?

Too early for holiday decor but not for holiday Gap ads

We're almost a week before Thanksgiving and I'm pretty excited about the upcoming holiday season. But one of my pet peeves is how early some stores begin to celebrate the holidays. Christmas items should not be brought out before Thanksgiving. 

But tonight on my way home, I noticed several stores on Michigan Avenue already are decorated for Christmas and two people on my street already have their tree decorated in their apartments. If it wouldn't get me arrested, I would throw a pebble at their windows and yell, "it's too early for that to be up!"

Despite this pet peeve, I do love it when the new Gap holiday ads come out, mostly because I know it's time to work on my Christmas list. Last year, I loved Amy Poehler and Will Arnett's ad - look how cute they are!

And Gap did me a HUGE favor by putting yummy John Krakinski in one too. That's tacked up at my desk. Meow! 

Below are some pictures from this year's Gap ads (including one of Jon Hamm aka Mr. Don Draper). If you have some time to kill, check out the Merry Mix-it page at Gap.com, which has this year's models/celebs singing carols. The one with Rainn Wilson and Selma Blair is adorable.  

So my question to everyone is, if you had to pick someone for a holiday ad, preferably someone sprawled on a bearskin rug, who would you pick? 

My overpacking problem

If anyone hears me say out loud that "I pack light" when traveling, slap me across the face. Why? Because it's a big, fat lie. LIE!

I used to pack only the bare essentials, but then I got more "girly" and into make-up, fun clothes and accessories and suddenly the amount of stuff I bring along for a weekend at home has multiplied by like 100 percent.

Case in point: this weekend when I went home, I brought my "carry on" suitcase, which looked like it was going to explode at any given second. It was stuffed with laundry, shoes and make-up within an inch of the zipper's life. I nearly had to lay myself on it so that it would close. And with trips coming up for Thanksgiving and Christmas (when I'll be home for over a week), I absolutely must upgrade to the bigger suitcase.

Why? Options. I overpack because a girl has to have options.

Now, I try not to bring my entire apartment with me (anymore) when I travel, but somehow I end up bringing the following (keep in mind, I'm home for 48 hours):

• Three pairs of shoes
• Five necklaces and assorted bracelets
• Two jackets
• Two to three purses
• Almost my entire bathroom
• Two belts
• Four to five outfit choices (or at least two outfits per day)
  

I'm a horribly indecisive person on clothing so I overpack because I never know what mood I'll be in when it's time to get dressed each day. And, mentally I know if I take items out of the suitcase, I will want them when I go home and they won't be available.

So in prep for Thanksgiving and the Christmas holiday, dad and I had a heart-to-heart and I begged him to pick up a few things for me to store at the house - like toothbrush, contact solution and toothpaste - to make my packing simpler....and so I can fit another purse or sweater in the suitcase to replace what is staying here.

I'm sick, someone help me. Does this happen to anyone else?

Weekend key learnings and matchmaker fail

This weekend I went back to Wisconsin and it was exactly what I needed. I got to drive and enjoy some Wisconsin Badger football...in the freezing cold and snow. I love college football, but I have to admit, the November games are tough, especially when you're sandwiched in the stadium. But I wouldn't give up going.

Anyhow, on to the learnings!

Key Learnings:

• Even with four layers of clothes on, it's amazing how you fast you can get a chill

• Hearing a kid scream "we're all gonna die!" on the train home, is not comforting

• Try to be subtle when holding your breath in a cab that smells like onions

• A Bloody Mary and soft pretzel are great ways to start your Saturday

• Think before saying out loud, "I'm tired of taking my clothes off." People won't know that you mean you're tired of taking your clothes off to try on other clothes at the store

• If Goodwill breaks your donation while dropping it off, it's totally fine to jump in the car and speed off before they return to deny it

• Chanel and Louis Vuitton are not appropriate gameday accessories. My rule: don't wear anything you don't mind spilling beer on

• When your parents ask what liquor you want for the cooler, don't say just juice. They won't understand. Just say beer, even if you only want juice

• You know it's been a while since you've seen someone when they comment "wow your hair is brown now" and it's actually been brown for almost two years

• It's okay to break out into spontaneous dance to warm up your legs and body. But you might look silly

• Be an adult and own up to the fact that you look  like a d-bag in a mock turtleneck. They're not made for everyone

At the football game, my stepmom and her friend tried to play matchmaker for me, ending in a big FAIL. Both of my stepbrothers are in long-term relationships and with my brother married, that means it leaves little spinster me the last one solo. 

Before the game, my stepmom and her friend, who has stadium seats near us, were talking about kids, and her friend asked if I was single. When I said yes, she smiled and told me I had to meet her 38-year-old son, who is also single and has never been married. I laughed and said okay (I mean, why not?) and my stepmom was just beyond excited at the prospect of a love connection.

But the woman sharing a pre-game table with us interrupted this nice moment by saying, "oh my god he's 38 and unmarried? What's wrong with him? Why is he still single?" My stepmom threw this rude person her patented death rays, but the mood was killed. I agreed to go through with the "introduction" at half-time and sure enough, when this poor guy came over to the seats to see his mom, she pushed me forward and said, "Craig, meet Jessica, isn't she adorable?"

As if my cheeks weren't red enough already from the cold, my embarrassment was added on top of this. Fortunately, the matchmaking appeared to be nothing new to this guy, who rolled his eyes, shook my hand and then turned around and left. My stepmom and this woman were crushed and my dad told my stepmom in a pointed tone, "Jess is fine, don't force something on her. She's perfect on her own."

Thanks dad, I think you're right :) Back to the drawing board.

Sharing is not caring

I consider myself to be a giving person. Need me to spot you some money? Sure. Need someone to talk to? I'm here. For my most loyal friends, I'd even give them the clothes off my back if they needed it. Unfortunately, this giving nature doesn't translate to everything.

I'm not an only child, but I don't share well. And even though I have siblings, the rules are different when you're the only girl. Why? Because I didn't have to share anything. When we traveled, I had my own bed, bedroom and bathroom while the boys had to share. The girly toys were mine and I didn't have a sister to share my clothes and possessions with so there was no competition. And the mindframe of "that's mine" has carried into adulthood, where I am not the best sharer of my personal items.

For example, I love picking out outfits for friends. When shopping, I help pull together outfits and comment how great that would look with my Kate Spade purse or my Tory Burch flats. One friend asked once if she could borrow my purse and I was caught off-guard. I smiled and said, "yeah sure," but I made it clear that should anything happen to my lovely purse, that she would replace it for me, at retail value with interest. She never took me up on borrowing the purse.

One year, I had to babysit my stepmom's nieces and they helped me decorate my Christmas tree. My ornaments are very personal to me (I'll explain more later) and the kids were not known to be very gentle with other people's property. So, I told them that I would hand them ornaments and if something happened to Auntie Jess' stuff, that a finger would be broken for each item lost. Surprisingly, nothing was broken. Fear really works.

I've even found recently that lending out DVDs doesn't work well either for me. I end up lending them out and then upon return, sitting under a bright lamp to inspect it for scratches. That is so sad. 

I blame my recent no sharing policy on my stepmom, who borrowed an issue of Vanity Fair and then destroyed it at the beach, thanks to sunscreen sand and water. How irresponsible is that??

Re-reading this, I'm feeling a little crazy so I hope I'm not the only one who is a bad sharer of certain things. To be fair though, I'm like this only with things I really value...which is pretty much everything. Hey, in this economy, things have to last.

So this weekend, I'm headed back to Wisconsin to get a break from the city and to attend the Wisconsin Badgers/Minnesota Gophers game at Camp Randall. Time to bring out my beer-stained Wisconsin sweatshirt, which I will wash for this lovely occasion.

I was hoping to catch the new Bond movie, but sexy Daniel Craig will have to wait another week. Anyone else have big weekend plans?