Public transportation pet peeves

The CTA (Chicago Transit Authority) is my main source of transportation in the city. Now that I've been car-less for four years and try to use cabs only when absolutely necessary, there is a certain amount of adjusting that happens when you rely on public transport.

For example, you "plan" your trips so you can maximize your time out and about. If I go out for the ATM, I also swing by the store and grab a paper too or only got to the ATM when I'm leaving for dinner. If I want to go somewhere on public transportation, I plan on it taking about 30 minutes because, well most trips anywhere in the city take at least that.

But along with these more minor changes, there are certain other things you have to allow for, like the unusual things you notice on the bus, which inevitably begin to irritate you, such as:

• Cuddlers - If you really cannot stand to be physically separated, I recommend going back to bed. Then you won't tickle my gag reflex

• Loud talkers - This includes personal conversations and people on cell phones. One woman was speaking so loud on her cell phone that I could hear her over my iPod, which was IN my ears. Indoor voices!

• Mistaking the bus for home - It drives me insane when people feel the need to stretch out the morning newspaper on a packed bus. I also enjoy stretching out with the newspaper...at my home. I don't need half of the Times' Business section stretched over me, thanks

• Excessive PDA - Much like cuddling, I don't need to watch you swap spit and feel each other up. I have Cinemax for that :)

• Space hogs - I am guilty of this too, but it's an unspoken rule that when the bus fills up, you move your bag from the seat next to you so others can sit down. Yes, it's not as much fun, but it's necessary. People who don't do that are rude

• Bumper cars - Eek, another thing I'm guilty of, but I really try to avoid this. This includes having people collide into you with their oversize purses or bags. If I had a nickel for every time I was hit in the shoulder or head by a purse, I could pay off my student loan. And one time, after a chick hit me multiple times in the head with her Puma bag, I pulled out a pen and made a mark on the white leather portion of the bag. Burning in hell, I know

• Personal space issue - I don't really have an issue with this, but after having some guy caress my butt on a packed bus once, I get very nervous when I'm packed in. Especially if the person sandwiched next to or behind me hasn't showered or reeks of cigarettes. That is the worst!

Well those are the top things that irritate me. I may complain, but the CTA still provides me with transportation and provides me with lots of fun stories :)

What are your public transportation pet peeves? Or do you have any great CTA/public transportation stories to share?

Oh and feel free to let me know how glad you are that you don't have to take public transportation because you have a car. I miss my car and I love driving when I go home, but my stories are never quite as interesting as in the city.

Key Learnings and hot man bus fail

Since I'm one of the few people I know without HBO, I couldn't watch the Obama We are One concert today (sniff sniff) so I'm relaxing after a nice dinner with friends and preparing for work tomorrow (even though our office is closed.) Oh and I need to bring out my Obama buttons for Tuesday too!

So to help delay me from doing something productive, let's bask in some key learnings together.

Key Learnings:

• Friday fish fries are the perfect way to close a long week

• Tequila served out of a plastic test tube will make you feel like throwing up

• Beer tastes good but can give you a wicked headache the next day (not good)

• When smuggling in candy to a movie theater, avoid food that makes too much noise when opening it so you don't draw attention to yourself

• There are some ugly fur coats on Michigan Avenue

• Grocery shopping when hungry is a bad idea

• Don't sit next to the man rocking back and forth in his seat on the bus, you never know what he'll do next

• Even if a guy says, "This may not come out right but I mean it as a compliment," whatever he says next will be mean

• Telling a woman she's wearing a "grandma sweater" is not a good conversation starter, same with telling her friend that she looks like a lesbian cartoon character

• Beer + good 80s music = dance party in public. I love 80s music

• On bitter cold days, CTA bus tracker (which calculates when bus routes will be at your stop) is a godsend

• Friday Night Lights on NBC is one of the best shows on TV. Everyone should watch it and bask in the hotness of Coach Taylor. Meow

Hot man/bus fail

It has been a long time since I saw a guy who was so attractive that I literally couldn't look away. Sure, there are celebs that I think are very attractive, but not in a sense that when you see them, you can't help but stare at them (in a non-creepy way.) The last time I had that feeling was with a guy in Minnesota...which was....several years ago.

I found myself in a "non-creepy stare" situation on Saturday while I was on my way to see Slumdog Millionaire (great movie). I was sitting on the bus, listening to my iPod, when I looked over and saw a guy, maybe around my age, standing near the back exit. And I have to say, he was the most attractive man I've seen in a while. Like, I could not take my eyes off of him because seeing him sparked a little flutter in my chest. Now I wasn't staring at him like a piece of raw meat, but I dare to say, he was semi-tall, dark and handsome.

And in true me fashion, I didn't take a picture (don't have a camera on my work BB) and while trying to tweet/stare at him, he suddenly jumped off the bus near Tiffany's (is that a sign?) and disappeared in the crowd. I actually thought for a moment that I made him up.

So while it was disappointing and a half-fail that I didn't get to wave or say something to him, I have to say that the reminder that a guy can cause the long-thought-dead flutter in my chest to reappear, is a start. And right now, I'll take what I can get.

Photo Sunday:

En route to the movie, I saw the biggest icicle that I've ever seen and, of course, was compelled to take a picture of it. Enjoy!

How was everyone else's weekend. See any good movies or did everyone hibernate because it's "warmer" but not actually warm?

The fall transition phase

I love fall and I've posted before what I love about it. In Chicago, the fall transition is full-on right now and with all the good, comes some fall drawbacks. 

I am between two phases right now in the fall transition: 1) Seasonal adjustment and 2) Working on my "second winter coat" for the upcoming snowy season.

Seasonal adjustment starts around daylight savings time when I love gaining an hour, but that means it's dark at 2 p.m. Sun becomes a myth and waking up to darkness and leaving in darkness are tough things to adjust to after a lovely summer season. 

This phase leads right into working on my "second winter coat," thanks to the availability of Halloween candy and holiday treats. Whoppers, M&Ms, caramels, oh my! Once the vendor gifts start rolling in our office, all bets are off. That's when I end up over-indulging in candy and have a hard time resisting any treats. I love the change in seasons but sometimes the adjustment takes some time.

Lately, thanks to these phases, I've been having a little issue keeping to my diet and exercise regimen. I can't help being a little generous in the soup portion or grabbing the largest baguette and hibernating from the cold wind and chill in the air. Getting to the gym lately has been a chore, not a source of relief. 

And to make the "winter coat" phase worse, being squished on the bus with a puffer jacket, especially between two "festively plump" ladies with down coats, just makes me fussy and squirmy, like a child.

This is similar to how I feel during this fall transition time

Does anyone else go through this? It's definitely not a bad feeling in spring when the sun returns and the weather starts to warm, but it seems the fall transition is always the toughest, even if the cuter clothes begin to come out.

Reader Note: Thanks everyone for your feedback on the Kate Spade purse post yesterday. Dad just confirmed that the purse arrived from Nordstrom's today! I really liked Alexa's comment about splurging on two bags a year. I think that's a great policy. I'm 90 percent sure that I'll keep it, but I'll know for sure when I see her again. Pretty things like that should be worn and enjoyed :) And I'm an enabler too so people telling me to keep it is just what I wanted to hear.

Attracting crazy people

I am a freak magnet. If there is a crazy or wildly insane person with a certain radius, they find me and somehow lose their sh*t at me. This point has been agreed up on by several of my friends. The phrase, "that only happens to you" is said to me a lot.

I have zero idea what I wear or do that attracts these people to me. Perhaps it's some sort of sick pheromone that brings them in my direction, without me knowing it.

For example, over a year ago, a woman bumped into me on the sidewalk across from a CVS. I told her to watch where she was going (she didn't even fake apologize) and the woman promptly turned and started s-c-r-e-a-m-i-n-g at me. She used words I can't even say on this blog. Yes, my comment might have antagonized her a bit but she got so out of control that my friend Ryan had to physically hold her back from attacking me.  

Then, last January, I went grocery shopping with my dad and an elderly woman at the Jewel began screaming swear words at me when I moved my cart around hers and dinged her cart by accident. I did apologize after it happened but that didn't stop the woman from tearing into me. Dad looked horrified but I just sighed, as it did not surprise me in the least.

Yesterday even, I was sitting on the bus, en route to work, and a woman behind me grabbed or petted my hair as I was getting ready to leave. To be fair, there is a 50 percent chance my hair was grabbed by accident in the crush to exit the bus, but there was a definite grab and hold before my hair was relinquished. Maybe the Bumble & Bumble shampoo I use does smell that good. People are apparently compelled to hold it.

See, I bring out freakish behavior! Watch out if you're ever around me because I can't guarantee what will happen. You've been warned. 

FYI: Happy Halloween everyone! I'm not a costume person so I will be dressing up as a young-professional-woman-dressed-for-casual-Friday. I hope no one steals that idea.

Big Halloween weekend plans for anyone else? Costume choices or ideas? I'm always open to hearing people's creative choices. One year a friend made a costume out of an old moving box and went as "box of wine" with Franzia painted on the side Genius.

Reader note: Thank you SO much everyone for your kind comments on my rockin' legwarmers. Everyone's sweet comments really made my day :) I'm glad you also enjoyed the 80s TV flashback, but I did forget "Saved by the Bell," which was a horrible oversight. I will post a link on Sunday to the pattern for the legwarmers in case you want to make them yourself. It might be tough to knock out in a weekend but definitely in two weeks, depending how tall you want them to be. You guys are awesome!

Pet Peeve: Chicago's Summer Bummer

I try not to list pet peeves two days in a row, but I've had a disgustingly long day so that rule is out the window for this occasion. 

Today was by far the nicest day in Chicago that we've had in a very long time. This lovely weather might actually steal attention away from the cougar that was killed in Roscoe Village this week. And it's tough to beat a cougar, it's a wild cougar in Chicago! 

So with the nice weather, there are inevitable things that happen in the city:

• The crosswalks become insufferably crowded
• Tourists - more on that another time
• The summer homeless people come out
• People have very high self esteem about the clothes they wear
• and the biggest summer buzz kill....Cubs games

Now before I'm gunned down for saying that, I'm not saying that I hate the Cubs, I'm saying as a Lakeview resident that I hate evening Cubs games because of the ungodly traffic on LSD. Many of my co-workers and I actually have a Cubs game schedule at our desks so we can check for night games before we leave work. On those days, I usually try to stay late or take my time at the gym but today, I was irresponsible and didn't check the schedule before I left work and was stuck standing on the 145 in atrocious traffic.

One woman standing behind me was so frustrated that she nearly charged off the bus, taking anyone, including me, out at Belmont. But in the midst of exhaustion and a painfully long ride home, I did do my nice deed for the day - letting a woman near me know she dropped her Chicago Card. Good karma for me!

Alrighty, Lulu wants to play some music and I'm going back to watching Juno. Pork swords!

Pet Peeve: Bus tidbits

So after yesterday's more "complicated" topic, I'll keep it light today. Plus, Lulu has picked a very light, happy song from my iTunes library for us to listen to so we'll keep on that trend.

Riding the bus to work every morning, I've noticed two new trends on my morning commute, one of which intrigues me and the other that annoys me (I believe it bothers me because it's just too early in the morning). I'll let you pick which is which.

Cuddlers

This used to be a winter-only trend on my route but now they're out in spring. Cuddlers are the swooning in love people who cannot bear to not have any physical contact with each other on the bus, regardless of how this affects other riders.

I once had cuddlers on the bus who were so attached at the hip that they refused to allow other people past them. When one passenger broke their grasp why trying to get to an open seat, the girl in the couple looked like someone at stolen her purse and lunged for the guy in the couple, calming once they were connected again.

OMG gag me. This might sound "single-girl" biter but seriously, get a room. If cuddlers cannot stand on their own and stand to be apart for a few minutes, they  need to do one of two things: 1) get a room, apparently you're not ready to be out in public yet or 2) get a rope to tie you together so you don't have to worry about being apart. But make room for others on the bus, especially during bad weather and rush hour.

Make-up rush-hour style

I'm not exactly a morning person, but I do put on my make-up with scientist-like focus. I've seen the results when I don't and it's not pretty...at all.

One woman on my morning commute puts her entire "face" on the bus, regardless of bumps, short stops, the whole lot. And of course, rather than reading the paper, I cannot help but stare and watch her reactions during a sudden stop, especially when applying liquid eyeliner.

A different woman this morning had her little compact mirror out and was stretching her eye to apply liner when all of a sudden a guy bumped her arm and she started snipping at him. The guy dismissed her, but I couldn't help but laugh. I understand the value of 10 extra minutes of sleep, but when you choose to get ready on the bus, you have to be prepared for anything. There is no way I could do that so I'm always entertained by who can do their make-up routine successfully in those conditions. Round of applauds for you!

Am I hallucinating? Heidi a "feminist hero?"

I thought that I would have nothing to report on tonight - until I read on Us Weekly's site that someone at the New York Times called Heidi from the Hills a feminist hero. I thought I was drunk or hallucinating when I read that. That has to be a misprint but sadly it's not.

Heidi is many things, such as a poster-child for boob jobs, too much mascara, bee-stung lips and slutty clothing. All of those things come to mind when I think of her. But feminist hero, somehow that seems like a stretch...by a long shot.

The paper applauds Heidi for kicking Spencer to the curb (of course we know is not true because they're back together) and for climbing to a bigger position at work (which she is absolutely not qualified for and likely got because of the MTV cameras). And for anyone who watches the show regularly, you're not really "moving on" from the guy if you keep talking about him to anyone who will listen. But the real part of the article that caught my eye is that they applauds her for doing all this and "getting herself home on time." Is that something that a 20-something year old woman needs to be commended for? I'm pretty sure anyone who is at least slightly responsible and coherent can handle that.

But this has gotten me to think that I'm a feminist hero too! I mean, according to this article, I've done the following things that they've called out "fake boobs" Montag for achieving: kicked a guy to the curb (yes it's been awhile but I've done it), moved up at work and I get myself home on time every night. Phew, that last one is tough though, trust me. Getting on the CTA bus, scanning my card and watching for my stop while successfully exiting the bus - that is such a challenge day in and out. It's hard to be me - superhero me.

Is there something in the water?

So the verbal feedback that I received on the "overheard at the gym" blog post was pretty funny. Those who mentioned it to me said it was hilar-ious and some even asked if I've heard anything else from the gym gossip ladies. Sadly, the answer is no, but I will keep you posted since many of you asked!

Now that I'm back at the gym regularly, I've noticed that a lot of the post-work crowd appear to be in heat. I guess being prompted for a PC Load Letter and arguing with vendors gets them hot and bothered. First it was the conversation I overheard earlier this week and tonight a young couple was cuddling on the weight-training floor (interesting choice to nuzzle) and the girl actually helped her male friend "adjust" himself. In front of everyone. I could not believe it and looked away in horror. Both seemed sheepish about it afterward, which they should, and the girl left but that is an image burned into my head, that I wish, pray will go away. *shudder*

That is my side of the seat
Traveling on the CTA is always challenging in winter with the combination of bags, heavy coat, etc. Recently, I've had a few "encounters" on the bus where people I sit next to exceed their allotted seat space. This irritates me beyond belief because when the bus is packed, especially in the morning, the last thing you want to feel like is a caged, trapped animal between a woman who is "festively plump" and a guy with a ton of bags on his lap, which are now partially in yours.

I even had a man once force me to sit in a small seat with two pillows from Pottery Barn and two bags on my lap so he and his loser friend could talk about the latest Dungeons & Dragons level they reached. Personally, I was amazed these guys knew how to talk to a live woman without offering their credit card to her, but the fact that they have ventured outside of their mother's basement is exciting enough for them. I wouldn't want to them to achieve all of their life goals in one day. That's no fun.

So my note to all CTA riders reading this is: be mindful of the people you're sitting next to. Acknowledging that you might be exceeding your space with a "sorry" or attempt to move your stuff really is appreciated it. We'll get through this...together.

The songs that you hear in your head

First off, those are not bad things to hear. I have my iPod in my ears most of the time that I'm outside and I feel like I'm living my life to a great soundtrack. With the occasion of breaking out into song and bad dancing.

Because many of my high school and college friends have emerged from the woodwork on Facebook, I am reminded of a topic that was often a popular one amongst my friends in college - theme songs. And not television theme songs, but your own personal theme song that you feel best describes you and your personality. Ideally, it would play whenever you walked into a room to announce your presence (much like on WWE wrestling but smoke and fireworks with that music is optional.)

So what is your personal theme song? Please share the artist's name and song title, but if you're embarrassed, feel free to just put a music genre.

I rotate between two theme songs, "Big Pimpin'" and "Dirt Off Your Shoulder," both by Jay-Z. Maybe it's because I was a gangster rapper in my previous life, pimped out with bling, Cristal and 22's on my car. (Further evidence why I was a gangster rapper in a past life will come another time - sorry KMo.) In fact, one of my secret shames is that whenever I debut the Uggs for the upcoming fall/winter season, I also play a theme song for them, which is "These Boots are Made for Walkin'" by Nancy Sinatra. Can't mess with a classic. Anyhow, I'm anxious to hear your responses.

Talking to yourself is healthy - unless it's in public
I talk to myself - I openly admit it, except I don't do it in public because that makes me look crazy. But in the comfort of my apartment, I will have rhetorical dialogues with myself about anything and everything. Fortunately me and inner monologue me get along, which is important to note! Maybe this is a sign that I need a pet to so that those dialogues are out in the open.

Anyhow, last night on the 146, which I nearly froze waiting for, there was a woman in a monster fur coat and more monsterous fur hat that was apparently arguing with herself on the bus. She was frantically shaking her head and looking angrily at the woman next to her (who she didn't know) and giving her the "stink eye." After doing this for a few minutes, she would give her a half-smile and shake her head, looking still pissed. Part of me wondered what she was arguing with herself about, but if I learned anything from waiting with Emily at the Miami airport security line, don't ask. Just don't.

Final note
Oh yeah! I'm going to see The Police with Elvis Costello in Milwaukee in July. While I don't remember The Police as a full band (in my memory Sting has always been a solo artist) but I do love the song Message in a Bottle and I cannot wait to rock out to that song with my wine cooler along the Lake. Hey it's Wisconsin, a little Bartels & James full of ice and crop tops it totally acceptable there.

To Andersonville and back!

It's 10:30 p.m. on a Saturday and sadly, I'm ready for bed. But I fully blame that on all the fresh air that I got today and the fact that I'm still getting over a nasty cold.

I give my brother full credit for getting up at 8 a.m. this morning to feed the meter, only to be pleasently rewarded with a meter-free spot on my street. Yay! After a hearty meal at Ann Sather's on Broadway with Liz, we pilgrimaged to Avenue Tavern to pick up their Save-the-Date cards from Anne, which look amazing! Mine will be prominently displayed on my fridge, even though the date is penned in my calendar and circled several times.

While it was sad that they had to go, I was glad to have some quiet again :) Liz and I spent a nice time reading in silence while trying to stay awake until Ryan called and offered us both a fun Saturday night offer - a trip to Andersonville for dinner at the famous HopLeaf tavern. A nice walk and a trip to the Berwyn Red Line stop and we were there...along with half of northern Chicago. With a 1.5 hour wait for dinner, we opted for Trappist beer (Ryan) and bad Pinot Grigio that tasted like old cheese (me) and then some Japanese food at Hata Mamsu across the street. Now, I'm still readying myself for bed while enjoying Ciao Bella. I love it, and how ironic is it that the enabler is now the victim of her own doing.

Welcome to the Chicago...now go home

Tourists in Chicago are like death and taxes...all are inevitable. Normally, tourists clog up the streets and stores in summer (when the American Girl cult is heavily recruiting new members) and the holidays (when tourists buy items they can get at home but with the cache of saying they bought in...Chicago.)

I bring this up because tonight by brother, Andy, and future sister-in-law, Jessi, came to the city to see Rent at the Cadillac Palace Theatre. It's always fun to see a visitor's response to how we city-dwellers live day-to-day. Walking for longer than two blocks? Really? Why are we rushing to get on and off the bus? Why are people weaving around us on the sidewalk?

Tonight, they both arrived early into the city while I was stuck downtown leaving work. And because I was feeling better, the universe started screwing with me by making my 146 bus stall ten times on the way up to Lakeview. 1-0 times, including once on the corner of Michigan and Wacker. Fortunately, once we eventually made it on LSD, we were cruising, thank goodness. So we met for dinner at Angelina Ristorante, where I joined them during their meal (thanks to the bus) and the waiter proceeded to not ask me the entire time we were there if I wanted anything to eat or drink. My brother had to ask the waiter to fill an empty and unused glass at their table with water and he offered it to me to drink! So according to the restaurant's Web site, it's "committed to offering a quality dining experience..." but apparently that did not apply to our table.

The thing I love about spending time with my Andy is that he is the "male version of me," according to my friend Anne and Jessi. We speak the same language and can even finish thoughts without fully verbalizing them. At dinner, he and I went into our own language about movies and quotes from random television shows that we both like, while poor Jessi sat there, looking at us, saying, "I'm so confused."

So now it's time to watch last night's "Lost," because Andy is apparently chomping at the bit to talk to someone about it, so why not his doppelganger?

Home Sweet Home

I'm beyond exhausted as I write this, but I'm finally home in Chicago. I won't lie, I miss the perpetual sunshine and 85 degree weather, but in the end, I always enjoy coming home. The last two days have been insane. Fortunately, the plane from Miami was delayed by 15 minutes and we had a very productive flight home, taking off at our rescheduled time, arriving on time, efficient landing, very pleased. While in Miami security though, Emily made new friends, particularly a guy who works as a ward at a New York state psychiatric facility. He was harmless, until he mentioned that one of his "patients" is not allowed to have pens or pencils with her because she could stab someone in the head with them. Good to know. The conversation ceased after that.

My bag also arrived in a timely manner at the baggage claim (very exciting), but the cab stop line was literally 50 people long. So rather than freeze in a light coat outside for god knows how long, we jump on the Blue Line to Irving Park to catch a cab. An attractive pilot sitting near us on the El was a nice distraction, but the real winner had to be a man sitting 10 people down from us, who looked like a vampire - until I realized he didn't have his front four or five teeth! Quite a picture to see Emily and I dressed respectively in Lacoste and Nordstroms/Banana Republic with this company. I even have a picture of us near a palm tree that I will post tomorrow.

Okay I'm off to finish unpacking and then go right to bed, after peeling my contacts out of my eyes adn wiping the "plane" smell off me. Night.

Rant: CTA funding - are we saved?

Well the big news 'round here today is that the Illinois legislature approved the CTA mass transit bill, which means I won't be meeting Ryan at 7:30 a.m. on Tuesday to pack on the Red line like sardines to get to work. Inevitably he'll be crabby and so will I, and that never is a good combination. That's right, I get to keep my 135, 145 and 146 routes home and I don't have to worry too much about a packed ride into work (or more packed than usual), so why am I still so pissed?

Two words: our governor. It makes me more than upset that the transit bill went down to the wire like this because of his BS-last minute addendum that seniors got to ride free to work. I know this will make me seem much meaner than usual - denying grandma and grandpas a free ride while they live on a fixed income, but let me explain. I don't agree with rides being free but I do agree that they should have heavily discounted rides. I have a set of grandparents living on a very fixed income, I get it, but I do not agree with the Governor doing this one thing at the last minute and not even because he's that concerned about seniors. He's doing this because he already looks like an ass for raising taxes, after he was elected heavily-based on his statement that taxes wouldn't be raised. I'm not nuts about paying 9.25 percent sales tax down here, but if it solve the crisis, okay. The Governor all but forced the legislature to approve this bill because if they didn't, then they're the jerks who are cutting the 80-some bus routes and forcing 2,400 CTA workers to be laid off. I wouldn't want that on my conscience.

As much as I believe in the good of people, "elderly" people will abuse this once it's enforced. I know because I watch people abuse the senior citizen seating on the bus all the time and that makes me upset because I will be paying more (when I don't make a lot already) to cover this. I fully plan on telling my dad, who will be 60 this year, that once this is enforced we should ride the bus downtown, because technically he's a "senior" so he should ride for free.

Okay, blood pressure is going down and I feel much more relaxed. But with the Nevada primary coming up this weekend, I could go "batty" again. Time to hit the gym again ASAP to keep me off the clock tower.

Attack of the ugly hats

So tonight on the 145, I was treated to my very own ugly hat attack - a first for this season. Tonight bus ride home featured two faux pas: the Sanjaya and the puppy.

The Sanjaya came on the bus at Wacker and was rocking a knit hat with ear flaps and yes, a faux hawk of yarn. At first I was rather shocked at what I saw and who thought it was a good idea to wear it. I couldn't stop staring at it on the bus until the next fashion offense came on the bus.

Before I tear into this girl, I should say that she could not have been more than 15 years old...I hope. The first thing that caught my eye was a fleece hat that also covered her ears but also had floppy puppy ears, that kept getting in her face. And of course she had a matching pink Jansport with pigs or a pink check pattern on it, I couldn't see. Wow. Let's hope she's just too young to know better.

On a quick side note, I'm VERY much enjoying the Conan O'Brien show since the writer's strike. I'll even be bold enough to say that it has not been this grassroots funny in years. It reminds me of when my brother and I would watch Conan on tape, before DVR and before he became popular. Keep it up Conan, but definitely bring the writers back, I miss my other shows!

Don't be a 135 hater, be a gym quitter instead

So yesterday while riding on the 135 to work, we encountered an unusually disgruntled woman around the Belmont stop. I'll set the scene for you: it's about 8:20 a.m., the bus is jammed as always and people are starting to get finicky because it's the realization that we will all not be in to work on time today...again. So we stop at Belmont and per usual the driver asks us to move back, but we can't because there is no room (where would you like us to go honey?). So we move through the Belmont stop and onto the LSD on ramp, where we slow down because of all the traffic merging at that light.

So while we're waiting, a woman runs up the bus out of no where (for those who don't know, there is not a stop near the on-ramp) and begins knocking on the bus to see if she can get on. I shake my head at her through the window because it's not going to happen and I know that, and she continues to bang on the bus harder, thinking this will just cause the driver to get annoyed and stop to let her on. But fortunately my bus driver did not, she shook her head and continued on to LSD, which caused the woman to begin screaming obscenities and give the woman her stubby middle finger, which was covered by a black glove. I couldn't help but laugh at this because I have also chased a bus at a non-stop, hoping they would let me on and I have been denied (although I never reacted that way).

But somehow, hearing this woman scream "f*ck you, f*ck you," while giving her the finger was just too amusing and I laughed, before having a flashback to the woman who nearly kicked my ass this summer near the CVS on Broadway, who shouted the same thing to me and gave me the finger as well.

Also - These post-New Years exercise fanatics need to stop going to the gym. I know they'll start dropping more at the end of the month, but I'm ready for that to happen now! Last night they totally ruined my workout because I could not get on a machine! And the gym doesn't have "courtesy times" established for peak hours. Not cool. Just face it post-New Years workout people, you're going to fail at this resolution and quit going to the gym so stop being selfish and ruining this for the rest of us. You're a quitter and that's okay, no one judges you, but just own up to it and give me my f*cking elliptical machine when I arrive to the gym!

Thank you.

Quoi? Mon Agrafeuse?

For those of you who don't speak French, today's title means, "What? My stapler?" Yesterday a colleague asked to borrow my stapler and because they're in short supply here (in an office of 500 people), I'm possessive about it. But how could I say no to a VP? Anyhow, I forgot to grab it from the general office she was using and feared it was gone forever, until I showed up this morning and someone (honestly I don't know who) placed it back on my desk. I didn't even know it was there for about an hour! Talk about a New Year's miracle, whomever rescued it has saved me from stealing one from another colleagues desk.

In unfortunate news, I went through my cell phone bill and it turns out that the Sprint people didn't so much screw up my bill and it really, painfully is $124. Ugh, it makes my stomach turn. So as much as I love raging against the machine, I will have to concede and sadly pay it. Back to checking my usage once a week again. Boo!

Sadly, it's been a quiet Friday, nothing else overly exciting happened! The last notable thing for today - I sat next to a girl on the bus who had a massive wart near her thumb and some dumbass who likely just left his mother's basement for the first time in a while kicked my bag (which he should have been slapped for, it's Coach!) Fortunately nothing was damaged. Now I have my eye on an adorable scarf to match my carryall :)

Why the CTA made me nearly an hour late for knitting

Last night I had a sick feeling in my stomach, primarily because I was supposed to be at knitting by about 6 p.m. and ended up showing up around 6:45 p.m. Why did this happen? That would be because of my CTA nightmare, consisting of confusing the 144 and 143 bus and then a 151 driver who decided to "do his job" and be a knob about it. I was supposed to go to Wellington and Broadway, which the 143 would get me close to, but rather, my confused mind got on the 144, which dropped me at Irving Park and Marina (to those who do not live in Chicago, these intersections are NO WHERE near each other and likely 2 miles apart). So I jump on a 146 to Belmont after a brisk 3 block walk south, which gets me closer to knitting and then alas, a 151 is at Belmont and LSD/Sheridan. I frantically wave to the guy to hopefully let me on, saving time, but he denies me, waving me forward to the stop. After serious swearing, I start walking to the stop just south of Belmont, when the bus driver passes me and blows through the stop. KNOB!!! Mental note: always use TransitChicago.com to check the bus routes before I leave, unless I'm really 100% sure I know the answer.

I'm behind in posting so I might have two entries for today, as I got home late last night from knitting and had to watch the last pre-strike Gossip Girl, which was not as smutty as I hoped it would be, but still delivered for the evening.

I'm also back into watching more of Conan again, now that he's back on without writers because honestly, it's funnier than it was with writers and The Daily Show (now renamed A Daily Show for the interim time) have not been very funny. Sure Jon Stewart's uncomfortable looks and laughs are entertaining, but his comment on Monday about the strike and 9/11 seemed pretty inappropriate. The Colbert Report though...still solid! I would watch that no matter what.

Okay time to check out my Sprint bill, which apparently is $124 with 80-some minutes of overtime use. Oops. Fingers crossed for a printing error!

Blowing through nap time

Even at my late-20 something age, I still enjoy it when my dad worries about me. Tonight, in the midst of terrible thunderstorms in Chicago, Wisconsin and Indiana, he called while I was waiting for a 145 or 146 in the rain to make sure I was okay. Apparently there were tornado sightings between Chicago and Wisconsin and south of the city as well. Of course I didn't this out until I was home and saw the radar online...and I'm glad I didn't.

Now that it's back to work and Liz's office coffee cup crisis is getting better (and an opportunity ripe for the black coffee cup market) so it's business as usual. I'm back to pondering deep thoughts, such as "how do I properly use this eye makeup brush on my crease properly," and "do my newly shorn eyebrows work for my face shape? Or do I now have a more perplexed look on my face?" Deep thoughts.

Before I go back to my issue of Us Weekly and watch LSU hopefully crush Ohio State (suck it Buckeyes!), I say that one of my New Years resolutions this year is to get back on blogging track, to my readers (however many of them are our there), I promise to do better.

Now back to Britney's recent meltdown and how I can be as skinny as the stars, without the food delivered to my home and the oodles of money to work out with a trainer for hours a day and not worry about working....

Chicago's Next Top Model and the 151

Last night I pilgrimaged to Lincoln Park to see the most beautiful newborn, who is bound to be Chicago's Next Top Model...Miss Ada Quinn, who is 8 lbs of beauty and with a full head of brown hair! Amanda is a rock star, looking totally normal after 5 hours of labor and delivering a child less than 24 hours ago. And the cutest part of all? Ada "hums" when you hold her, apparently it soothes her but it is the cutest thing ever!! And she didn't cry when I held her so maybe babies do like me.

En route to the hospital, Rebecca and I were doomed to ride the slowest 151 in the city...which caused me to have a near emotional snap after it took us an hour from South Water to Diversey/Sheridan. I did say a few expletives near the Wrightwood stop, followed by the phrase "can we go???"

More great news! The Daily Show and Colbert Report return to Comedy Central on January 7, which makes this member of the Colbert Nation beyond happy. Plus, the AP just named Colbert its Person of the Year, which makes me highly anticipate a hilarious "Who's Honoring Me Now" segment!

While doing laundry last night I watched the "Fun Run" episode of The Office, where Michael hits Meredith with his car (which wins my vote for the best season premiere opening yet). I still find the parts about Angela's cat dying hilarious (claw marks on frozen peas!) but it makes me sad that there is nothing but crap TV on anymore because of this strike. My DVR is not happy with its new taping selections either.

Tonight is my platonic girl date with Liz - cannot wait! But first there is laundry and of course, a trip to Nordstroms spa to pick up my rock star Christmas gift for Cathy - OH YEAH! More on that later.

Pre-Christmas dilemmas

Oh Christmas-time, headaches galore, along with some holiday cheer. Right now UPS is holding wine that I bought and shipped home from Bin 36 hostage - yes hostage. According to UPS.com this evening, my wine is still "out for delivery," which is impossible because I've never seen UPS work after 5 p.m. We'll have to see what dad says tonight when I call to check-in. Might be time to call and complain to Bin 36, I think I smell a refund on shipping coming...

On a separate note, I had an interesting ride home on the 146 tonight. The very stuffed bus was making its way down Lake Shore when apparently the back bus exit wasn't working. So rather than walk their way up the front of the bus to exit, people started pulling the emergency exit level to pop the back door open and de-bus, leaving our bus to stall while the door had to be manually shut. Imagine having this happen at every stop, because why would it be only one person that pull the emergency lever in a non-emergency situation. This was combined with an older man who was carrying his briefcase and a bag of groceries on his side, allowing his several-pound turkey to continuously collide with my knee. This along with the exit and my unsuccessfully trying to blow my nose, it's a typical trip home on the CTA.


In closing tonight, big blog shout-out to my KMo, whose poor baby toe was inappropriately assulted and pinched by her high heel late this afternoon. We're pulling for your toe KMo, stay strong.