Sunday, November 16, 2008

Weekend key learnings and matchmaker fail

This weekend I went back to Wisconsin and it was exactly what I needed. I got to drive and enjoy some Wisconsin Badger football...in the freezing cold and snow. I love college football, but I have to admit, the November games are tough, especially when you're sandwiched in the stadium. But I wouldn't give up going.

Anyhow, on to the learnings!

Key Learnings:
  • Even with four layers of clothes on, it's amazing how you fast you can get a chill
  • Hearing a kid scream "we're all gonna die!" on the train home, is not comforting
  • Try to be subtle when holding your breath in a cab that smells like onions
  • A Bloody Mary and soft pretzel are great ways to start your Saturday
  • Think before saying out loud, "I'm tired of taking my clothes off." People won't know that you mean you're tired of taking your clothes off to try on other clothes at the store
  • If Goodwill breaks your donation while dropping it off, it's totally fine to jump in the car and speed off before they return to deny it
  • Chanel and Louis Vuitton are not appropriate gameday accessories. My rule: don't wear anything you don't mind spilling beer on
  • When your parents ask what liquor you want for the cooler, don't say just juice. They won't understand. Just say beer, even if you only want juice
  • You know it's been a while since you've seen someone when they comment "wow your hair is brown now" and it's actually been brown for almost two years
  • It's okay to break out into spontaneous dance to warm up your legs and body. But you might look silly
  • Be an adult and own up to the fact that you look  like a d-bag in a mock turtleneck. They're not made for everyone

At the football game, my stepmom and her friend tried to play matchmaker for me, ending in a big FAIL. Both of my stepbrothers are in long-term relationships and with my brother married, that means it leaves little spinster me the last one solo. 

Before the game, my stepmom and her friend, who has stadium seats near us, were talking about kids, and her friend asked if I was single. When I said yes, she smiled and told me I had to meet her 38-year-old son, who is also single and has never been married. I laughed and said okay (I mean, why not?) and my stepmom was just beyond excited at the prospect of a love connection.

But the woman sharing a pre-game table with us interrupted this nice moment by saying, "oh my god he's 38 and unmarried? What's wrong with him? Why is he still single?" My stepmom threw this rude person her patented death rays, but the mood was killed. I agreed to go through with the "introduction" at half-time and sure enough, when this poor guy came over to the seats to see his mom, she pushed me forward and said, "Craig, meet Jessica, isn't she adorable?"

As if my cheeks weren't red enough already from the cold, my embarrassment was added on top of this. Fortunately, the matchmaking appeared to be nothing new to this guy, who rolled his eyes, shook my hand and then turned around and left. My stepmom and this woman were crushed and my dad told my stepmom in a pointed tone, "Jess is fine, don't force something on her. She's perfect on her own."

Thanks dad, I think you're right :) Back to the drawing board.

33 comments:

Erin said...

Awww. Your dad is a sweetie.

Ashley said...

How adorable is your dad!?

I watched the Minnesota-Wisconsin game on TV and thought of you. :)

(Psst: I prefer juice to liquor most of the time as well.)

Rachel said...

I want to high five your dad!

emmaelizabeth said...

haha... "i'm tired of taking my clothes off"... nice.

Princess Pointful said...

Yay for Dad! And soft pretzels... better than forced matches anyday.

Maxie said...

I so know the feeling about not wanting to take clothes off to try others on... that's usually my downfall when it comes to shopping.

dolcechic said...

I've asked before, but will your dad adopt me too? :) I too would panic if I heard a little boy screaming. I think I've already started hyperventilating. Thanks for the warm welcome back. I have a couple little surprises this week :) Hope you had a great weekend!!!

Classy in Philadelphia said...

Hahaha, you're so cute.

I love all your key learnings! <3

Classy in Philadelphia said...

Hahaha, you're so cute.

I love all your key learnings! <3

SA said...

Your dad is awesome.

Whoever wore Chanel and LV to a game needs to turn in their ticket. I've tried to stop saying "really" but...

Really? Designer to a football game?

Maki said...

Aww what a great post, Jess!!!

Your dad is so nice - I loved the post about your dad when you take pics and this one!!!

It's getting so cold up there, huh? Believe it or not, FL is getting chilly, too! My town is down to 38 tonight!!!!

xo

howitstarts said...

That was a good game to get to go to. Too bad the matchmaking didn't quite work out ;)

bianca said...

"It's okay to break out into spontaneous dance to warm up your legs and body. But you might look silly"

And by silly, you mean awesome. I constantly break out into spontaneous dances!

erin said...

I can't imagine football games in Wisconsin in November, it was bad enough in NJ in December. My dad had season tickets for the Jets and I only ever went to the August preseason games or the freezing cold, snowing December games!

Kat from Tough Girl 101 said...

You know, I think screaming children are just the most annoying thing...ever.

The Maiden Metallurgist said...

That poor guy- and poor you too. As if anybody wants to be set up by their parents.

Mega said...

I really wish I could have witnessed that in person.

teality said...

I love this list. I want to know more about the kid on the train...

lifeintheleftlane said...

Oh, man. That must have been so awkward for both of you!

Sounds like you had a fun weekend.

laurwilk said...

I like your dad, too!

And there is nothing better than Big 10 football. AHHH, I love it!

thatShortChick said...

your dad=awesome.

and i laughed out loud at the mock turtleneck comment! haha so true.

RebeccaC said...

Was the guy even cute or not worth the bother?

Mandy said...

Awww, your dad rocks! Sounds like a great weekend!

CC said...

oh the family matchmaker....such a trial...my family ALWAYS asks if i'm dating anyone and the answer is almost always no and if that doesn't suck enough as it is, i always get the simpathetic head tilt and nod. hello, family? i'm only 24. relax.

glad you had fun at the game!

ps, just read your purse post and i think a.) you should keep the purse and b.) you should have a word with the unbelievably rude sales girl's manager!

Megkathleen said...

I get tired of taking my clothes off too - it just takes up too much of my energy.

LBluca77 said...

Hearing a kid say "we're all gonna die!" no is not fun. One day in the elevator at work some kid was like "maybe if we all jump at the same time it will go down faster" Um no kid lets not do that.

Vanessa said...

Your Dad is so right! When parent try to play matchmaker it usually ends in disaster.

Blaez said...

you dad is right! your amazingly perfect :-)

i hate "fixer uppers" and "blind dates"....

PomJob said...

Your dad is too cute!

WHY? Do people insist on making us feel bad for being single? Would you seriously consider dating a 38 year old?

Soft pretzels are the best start to any day!

Alexa said...

ahhhhhh mock turtlenecks!!!! i could write a whole post about how i hate them. hmmm, maybe i will : )

Miss Grace said...

Hey now there is NOTHING wrong with spinsterhood (right?? Please tell me I'm right!)

citysidewalk said...

omgz. I peed myself reading this. Hilarious!

G+D said...

Mmmmm...bloody mary and a soft pretzel. YUM!

And sorry to hear about the matchmaking fail, but I love your dad's reply at the end. What a great dad!!