Thursday, June 11, 2009

Guest post: Non-Bachelorette material

This hilarious post comes from Alexa at Cleveland's a Plum. And I have to say, ITA with her below that I could never be a reality TV star.

for many years i didn’t watch any of the seasons of the bachelor or the bachlorette because let’s be honest, it’s cliché as hell.

but for whatever reason my roommate and i really got into the last bachelor season with jason, melissa, holly and the second runner up jillian.

jillian is truthfully why we are watching this season’s bachelorette at all – we love her. the dreamy bachelor’s vying for her attention don’t hurt either (i’m looking at your ed and reid).

but after watching week after week I have decided that as much as I love the show i could never (EVER) be the bachelorette for a few specific reasons:

  1. no one needs to make out that much with that many people. just image what would happen if there was a mono outbreak!

believe you me, i’ve been known to be quite the make out bandit in my hay day but having random lizard tongues flicking me at every turn would be a bit much

  1. knowing that my family and friends would be watching me make out that much

the fact that at times I have to cover my eyes because i can’t watch the awkwardness of the smoochy boochy pillow talk and it’s people i don’t even know, i can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like for people that know me in real life

  1. getting fed constant bullshit

there’s no possible way that every single one of those guys are falling in love with her, it’s bull caca. watching some of the contestants is like watching a slimy salesman selling themselves for sloppy kisses. (except for ed and reid, they can do no wrong)

  1. “i think i’m falling in love with you”, “no i love you more”, “i never thought i could fall in love this fast”, “i don’t normally have feelings like this”

when i hear those phrases all that comes through is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. i think there should be a drinking game associated with the bachelor and bachelorette that when any of those lines are uttered you have drink

and yet, I still watch – every. single. episode.

maybe i’m jaded, maybe i’m turning into a bitter old spinster, but i just don’t think i could be the bachelorette. that and the fact that the idea of me frolicking around a sausage fest in a bikini is something that no one deserves to see.

so what do you think - could you put yourself out there and be the bachelorette (or bachelor)? what about even just being a contestant?

262 comments:

1 – 200 of 262   Newer›   Newest»
eemusings said...

hell no! I totally agree with all your points. I think I just have too much pride for that. That, and it's all so fake. I don't believe real lasting relationships can ever be formed in front of a camera.

High-heel gal said...

It seems like the guys on this season's episodes are full of more drama than a clique of HS girls! I wouldn't believe a single one of them for a second!

Mandy said...

Oh hell no! I have only watched a few episodes, never the whole season but it leaves me with slightly queasy feeling. It all just seems so fake.

cavy said...

F that. no way in hell.

although i would definitely enjoy the power trip

me: jake, i'm inviting you to move into the house.
jake: ZOMG ZOMG HAHA THE REST OF YOU SUCKERS!!
me: stfu

Maxie said...

I'd never want to be on that reality show, but the real world? BRING IT ON.

Ashley said...

I would have to say that I would not make a good bachelorette because I would probably call the guys out on their bullshit (then again, that might make for good entertainment). I'm guessing most people watch the show because these guys are feeding the exact lines that the romantic in them wants to hear. As for being a contestant, I really don't think I could fake interest in someone I don't really give a crap about for that long.

Marie said...

Nah. The reasons you listed are exactly why I wouldn't ever want to be a contestant or even watch the show!

Shannon said...

How do you think Daisy feels? Over half the guys CHOSE to leave! Ah hahahaha.

Shannon said...

*I realized I was off in my own little world and my ADD took me from the Bachelorette to Daisy of Love. So, that's the Daisy I'm talking about.

Matt said...

I'd do it.

making out with 20 some hot chicks? Where do I sign?

lbluca77 said...

Making out in front of the fam is no bueno in my book. I never got into this show. Although I did watch that rediculous wedding they had for that girl Trista years ago. Wait that is the same show right?

adriana said...

I could never be a contestant. My other big reason is that I hate being in front of the camera and would never, ever be comfortable doing the show... but yeah. I still watch every episode. And read reviews. And look for gossip.

And I love Ed!

Children of the Nineties said...

I keep watching the show too, even though I know guys who go on these shows are looking for their 15 minutes...it's not like going on a reality show is the easiest way to meet someone. I agree with you on number 4--it would definitely make a very effective drinking game!

justjp said...

The entire concepts of these kind of shows is purely retarded. In other news, I am rotting my brain by watching Charm School. Nothing says, "hey JP want to rot your brain" quite like dressing up tattooed hookers in school girl outfits. They knew my weakness!

thatShortChick said...

I always think about how they manage to keep everyone's names, likes/dislikes, hometowns, etc straight.

There's way too many people and all of that information would make my head spin.

Ali said...

Nope! Could never do it. First off, because I'd be awkward as can be and two, because I think we all know by now that no "reality" TV is ever completely real.

Love this post!

Katelin said...

yeah i don't think i could go on there knowing my family would be watching the whole thing. oy, too creepy.

Blaez said...

i got an award and passing it on to you!!

A Super Girl said...

I agree on the family thing, also the men/women on that show are just entirely too pretty. Who in real life is that pretty? Not me, I tell you.

Funny story, though. The Bachelor was casting today at a bar about 5 blocks from my apartment. If I was single, it probably would've been a good place to pick up the cast-offs!

Andhari said...

This is why I love Alexa, so hilariously spot on. I would die if many people like my family or my professors watch me making out with guys. lol

Lisa Chelle said...

I agree no can do...

I don't want to be that emotionally invested... and I don't want my aunt tink watching.

Vanessa said...

I agree, there is nothing authentic about that show, yet that's exactly how falling in love should be, totally and completely authentic.

Just Playing Pretend said...

Bachlorette. I couldn't do it. Reid though I could do. Every day. Multiple times. Please.

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