Talkin' about love

That's right, today I'm talking about love. And dishing my thoughts and advice on it. I know, I'm so unqualified for it, but it's for a good reason.

My Vegas/Chicago/blog buddy Renee is getting marwied (said in Princess Bride tone) in a few short weeks and several of us are throwing her a virtual bridal shower.

Which means I get to impart to Renee on this blog two things: my congratulations and some love/wedding-related thoughts.

So I thought I would post about what NOT to have at your wedding, staying on the Princess Bride theme. Because really, that is the best example of how not to have your wedding, minus the castle.

Here we go:

1. Make sure you marry someone you love (no brainer, although that prince title is attractive) and that that person isn't trying to torture your true love to death (the forest is very scary)
2. Have an officiant who can speak proper English (marwiage is what bwings us togewher today - hilarious)
3. No dueling at the reception (although it can be very hot)
4. Do not get married under the pressure that your true love will be storming the castle with his merry me to save you (that is so much pressure)
5. Have an awesome dress (I'm sure this is already secured!)
6. Ride off into the sunset with one helluva kiss

So Renee, I'm sorry I don't have the best marriage-related advice or experience but I did want to put together something silly and sweet for you.

I'm so happy for you and Joe and I wish you all the best in the future. I cannot wait to see pictures of the wedding and hear all about it from Erin and Rachel.

Oh and keep an eye on the groomsmen's grabby hands. Seriously. Note to them: Ask me before pinching my butt. I am a lady and buying me a Miller Lite from the bar is not a free pass for those hands. And just because I'm in a dress and you're in a tux, that does not mean we're automatically hooking up, even if that suit does make you look better in beer goggles. Kthanxbye!