Tuesday, December 9, 2008

My gassy grocery experience

Guess what? Everyone has gas problems once in awhile. And sometimes when we have gas problems, we need to get OTC meds to help make that gas issue go away. In situations like this, I wish there was a more dignified way to purchase these items at the grocery store, without everyone knowing my business.

This also extends to buying "lady items" at CVS. Not everyone needs to know when I'm on my cycle, thanks.

So, lately I haven't been feeling so well and I cannot get into my doctor so I have been using WebMD to self-diagnose myself and hopefully rule out what is wrong with me. In the process of ruling things out, it lead me to Jewel this weekend for groceries and to pick up some generic Gas-X pills. No, I don't have stinky gas, I'm just having some digestive issues. People who sit around me at work don't have to be scared.

Anyhow, I successfully hid the gas pills under my groceries so I wasn't advertising my issue to everyone in the store...until I had to pay. A cute guy was standing behind me, giving me a nice smile, when suddenly my Cheerios tipped over and the pills were exposed. I hid them again, thinking I was safe, until the cashier said out loud, holding the pills...

"Ma'am, are these gas pills yours?"

Dying of embarrassment, trying to keep my face from turning red, I said back...

"Yes, yes they are"

The cute guy actually took a step away from me and if I had any sense or control over myself, I would have let one rip, given him a wink and walked out because even (non)gassy girls need love too. But I cowered in shame, paying quickly and running out in the cold, gas pills and all.

Thankfully, I am feeling better. Stomach -1, self-esteem - 0. Maybe next time.

Um, I won't make any of you share anything bad, but let me know if you've had an embarrassing shopping experience, for meds, "lady items" or anything else. 

Time to go hide from embarrassment.

48 comments:

Erin said...

I'm sorry...I'm giggling uncontrollably because, well, apparently I'm an 8 year old boy! I just think gas stories are funny.

Yeah, I totally bought a pregnancy test at Walgreens and the little old checkout lady asked what grade I was in.

Arielle said...

Oh my goshhhh I would have died and run out of there just like you did. I hate buying embarrassing stuff like that.

Mandy said...

I am laughing right now too and I like Erin think gas stories are funny. When ever I have a habit of running in for personal things like lady things or meds like that and just running back out -- the grocery store I go to has a self checkout, I use that and keep it in the basket, then scan and bag as quickly as possible!

Stephanie said...

I cringed throughout this entire post because I could just tell that this post title would lead to nowhere good. I don't have a specific story, but I've actually gone to the other side of town to buy stuff, just so the people on my side of town don't any of my business. The people around here are nosey! You can't purchase a frozen pizza without a remark about it, let alone lady things.

Rachel said...

Did you know that pregnancy tests are RIGHT next to the yeast infection boxes? So as I stand there trying to decide on what test to buy people walk past me thinking I'm ready to make a disgusting loaf of bread. I try to make it better by saying, really loudly;

"Wowie I sure am pregnant! Man that sperm found my egg!"

Douchegirl said...

I dont' have any embarassing stories like that, but for some reason EVERY SINGLE TIME i go buy "lady products", the guy at the register happens to be cute.

Kyla Bea said...

Oh no!! lol What an ass for saying that outloud. As if he didn't have more discretion. Sheesh.

They don't make clerks like they used to.

Maki said...

Aww you're sooo cute even when you talk about your gas problem!!! It's not fair :) This put a huge smile on my face:)

I really do not have cute/embarassing story like yours, but I always get kind of shy when I have to buy girlie products because I don't want to deal with cute male casher. Therefore, I usually sent my Hubby to buy my stuff for me and he goes and get them for me:)

bianca said...

Oh no!!! I hate that!

I once went to Target to buy lady products and they were on ridiculous sale, so I decided to stock up. The guy at the register said "hmmm, you really need that much? Must be heavy..." I wanted to explain but I decided it was pointless. Cashiers should get training on what items they shouldn't comment on.

Melissa said...

Oh yeah, my favorite was when I had to pick up all my "lady items" and I ran into a guy from one of my classes. It's actually pretty funny trying to watch a guy stammer out a normal conversation while clearly checking out whether I'm buying light or heavy.
Or, you know, when I run to the 7eleven down the block in the middle of the night for some ice cream - a girl's got cravings, obviously- and the checkout lady asked if I had the munchies. Yeah.

LBluca77 said...

I always feel when I am buying my "lady items" I have to be extra nice to the cashiers. I don't want then to see my purchase and think "crazy pms girl"

jess@thehomebound said...

Ok, that's bad and I'm sorry. But I'm not going to even tell you the horrible ordeal that happened to me today. Let's just say, at work+stomach ache+no plunger=mortification.

Just writing that made me cringe.

S. said...

I am comforted by the fact that I cannot think of any embarrassing shopping instances.

Luck?
Or
Have I no shame?

Ignorance is bliss!

LizSara said...

I just don't find those kinds of things embarassing and having worked in stores when i was a teenager you should be comfotrted in the knowledge that the store clerks don't remember what they're putting through the tills from one person to the next.

All women have to buy sanitary products, and if cute boys can't handle it then they are going to have many problems when they get in relationships

Fight the fear ladies x

Endless Randomness said...

Everytime I go to buy "lady products" I keep looking over my shoulder to check if anyone is peering into my shopping basket.

Another thing that bothers me immensely is the thought that people want to see exactly what variant I am buying... makes me a nervous wreck!

Mega said...

Ahahaha!

Ok seriously......ahahahahaha!

16 paws said...

I intentionally make sure I go through a line with a woman cashier when buying "feminine products" I suppose because I think they know whats what and I don't need to be embarrassed by it then?

Just think of it this way, if that guy had asked for your number after the whole gas pill debacle he might have been worth your time, clearly, cute or not, he wasn't worth your attention or your embarrassment.

Alexa said...

but most importantly - did the pills work?

Cheryl said...

I honestly don't get embarrassed about my lady items, as you put it. I figure "hi, yes. You've noticed I'm a lady, maybe you're even attracted to me because I'm a lady. Which means that yes, I need lady items."

With things like gas pills, well that's why God invented the self checkouts. That's all I'm saying.

Deutlich said...

Dude, I totally get my OTC stuff at CVS and then make a female pharmaceutical counter person take care of my order.

Heh.

Tough Girl 101 said...

I don't mean to laugh at your pain, but I really do think you should ahve let one rip!!! That would have totally been hilarious.

emmaelizabeth said...

ugh I hate going to buy lady items. sometimes i feel like i need to buy a ton of other stuff so it can go unnoticed or thankfully some places have self checkout. but if i do have to go thru a cashier, (this is bad) but I try to pick the non attractive older types who won't care what i'm buying.

Chloetheingenue said...

Hahaha I actually laughed out loud (and I'm in class..).

I always end up buying Advil and chocolate the day I need to buy tampons, which makes me feel like I'm holding a "PMS kit" sign at the store :P

Miss Merry said...

oh man, i'm dying for you! i can't believe that sales person said that!

laurwilk said...

Haha oh goodness! That sounds mortifying.

In high school, I had to buy a pregnancy test for my little sister's friend. I live in RURAL Iowa and so most everyone knows everyone. I knew it was risky to buy it - but we didn't know what else to do.

Yeah, as I was about to check out, my female pastor stepped in line behind me and we had to carry on this long conversation while 'my' pregnant test was sitting RIGHT there. We had a long talk about 'abstinence' at Sunday School the next week.

jenniferalaine said...

Its for situations like these that God invented self-check out machines :)

Katie said...

too funny! If the cashier asked me that I would died too. That or said "Yeah...and I am about to pull the ripcord, if you know what I mean!"

Kate said...

I can't believe the cashier at Jewel said that! Wait, unfortunately, yes I can.

Tipp said...

Whoa. i would have been ticked. Like they don't have gas too.

Colleen Snell said...

Wow, that is terribly embarrassing. But why did he ask? I mean, how rude.

Paula said...

this must be how people who work in stores get their kicks. i don't remember doing this when i worked in a shop, that being said, i worked in a toy department of john lewis department store so i wasn't exactly selling anything embarrassing things.

still i think it's the height of unprofessionalism.

and kudos to you for coming out and admitting your problem on here. :)

The Modern Gal said...

That's almost straight out of a sitcom.

Yep, I have the same problem buying this stuff, especially if it's the only thing I need. I always buy a ton of stuff to take attention away from the gas drugs/lady items/condoms/pregnancy test that I really am there for.

Preston said...

One time I was sick (the runs) but really needed to get some shopping done so being the dope that I am, I went to the grocery store for a quick pick up of a few items. Needless to say, I didn't make it in time to the store's bathroom. I was mortified and left me cart in the aisle and hobbled back to my car. It was perhaps one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, although I don't think anyone even noticed it...

lifeintheleftlane said...

Oh man, what a crappy cashier! Sorry for your embarrassment, but your story made me laugh.

Coconut said...

Oh my gosh, that is awful but so, so funny!

Once I was like 10 days late, and my boyfriend wanted me to take a pregnancy test, so I went to CVS to buy one. First, I saw that my best friend's older brother was the Pharmacist that day and the tests were in an aisle with all the condoms and stuff, right by the pharmacy window. I quickly picked one up and took it to the cashier and when the lady rang me up she said, "Good luck!" Seriously? I was like 19 years old!Just put the damn thing in the bag and let me get out of there!

Heidi Renée said...

When I was in high school, a guy friend reached into the front pocket of my backpack and pulled out an OB tampon. "What's this?" he asked. I gave him my look of death and said, "It's a tampon." He threw it back into my bag with a horror-stricken look on his face. I think he was more embarrassed than I was.

SA said...

Aww, sorry.

Jamie said...

LOL! I am appauled that he would *actually* ask you that!

Katelin said...

oh how lame that she asked you if they were yours. haha. but at least you can laugh about it now right? and i'm always afraid i'll run into someone i know on the rare occasions that i buy condoms, seriously freaks me out, don't ask me why.

Blaez said...

i always end up with the hotty cashier while i'm on the monthlies. and he's the only one available.

Pam said...

Aw funny story.

I get so embarrassed about buying certain things, too. I always hide them under the rest of my groceries, and then try to casually slip them on the conveyor belt as if it was just an afterthought to get them.

Maris said...

Haha! I haven't had any embarassing stories like this but now that I typed it out I'm sure I'll have one tomorrow.

Although when I was in high school I went with my best friend to buy condoms (her first time, not mine, and I don't understand to this day why she didn't just send her boyfriend) and MY bf's dad was behind us in line. I don't think he even noticed us, but we giggled a lot anyway.

Princess Pointful said...

Haha! Too funny!
What an asshole cashier... s/he could have just said are these pills yours, and been more conspicuous. Sigh.

dolcechic said...

Awwww! :(

I used to work in a grocery store, so I have plenty of them! Hmmmmm...there was a time and the checker was really hot, and he only said hi to me, and I said good instead of saying hi, or hello. I guess I must have thought he made conversation, when all he said was hi.

Miss Grace said...

Try buying a pregnancy test and a pack of condoms at the same time. That raised some eyebrows.

I have no shame, so I couldn't even be embarrassed.

EP said...

I'm fairly positive that I would have died. But I was also that girl who was too embarassed to buy condoms at Walmart, so my BFF grabbed them and tossed them in her cart. *shrugs*

I'm glad your digestive issues are better now.

Fabulously Broke said...

Oh that is EMBARRASSING!

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