Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Online dating turnoffs

I'm still relatively new to online dating but I can share with you a few things I have seen that, well, help me decide whether or not I should close the match.

Now before you think I'm a bad person, I still read the person's profile to see if I can move past these things, but I can guarantee you, these things are a sign.

So here we go, a list of my online dating turnoffs:
  • Wearing a shirt that says "I like hot moms" in the profile picture
  • Talking openly about enjoying the "swinging" lifestyle
  • Multiple pictures of the guy with his shirt off (and the view isn't good)
  • Pictures of guys flexing in a mirror and/or weight lifting
  • Guys cuddling with their cats or multiple pictures of them with pets (I won't be able to compete with that)
  • Saying they don't have kids in one part of the profile but mentioning that actually do have kids later on
  • Commenting that they are "brutally honest with women" and that women "might not like what [they] have to say"
  • Saying they care about a women's physical fitness when they don't take care of themselves (I'm not a trophy, unless you're the Sugar Daddy)
  • Continuously asking a woman how she feels about "traditional gender roles"
  • Stressing that sex is the most important thing in a relationship. Isn't that an added bonus?
Yes, there are some characters out there. Again, some of these are more of a dealbreaker than others.

And speaking of a dealbreaker boys, I would not be upset if you closed a match with me based on the below picture. Yes, I'm rocking that blue Snuggie and it's very unflattering.


What would be your biggest dating turn offs when you meet a guy?

60 comments:

Mandy said...

Hahaha, what people put in their profiles are crazy.

Look at you rocking that Snuggie and actually posting a picture online! You are awesome!

tmamone said...

Well I don't date guys, but one thing that turns me off is when a girl tries too hard to be Paris Hilton.

Snuggies look like monk robes, don't they?

Hi! I'm Erin said...

It's been so long since I dated, but, you know, I'm still human so I still have crushes. Major crush-squelchers? Indicating that he wants to have kids "some day." Or actually already having kids.

Heidi Renée said...

The guys with cats in their pictures get me every time. I guess that's why I ended up with a cat-loving guy.

bianca said...

oh my goodness...MULTIPLE pictures with their shirt off? That is nuts. Who are these people?!

lucklys said...

i think you covered pretty much everything.

and why do you need a boyfriend now that you have a snuggie?!

wait, it's yours right?

jess@thehomebound said...

Nice snuggie! The only thing that would make that picture better is if you were chugging from some box wine and had glasses on the tip of your nose. I think that pic should get you more dates.

And always stay away from men with cats!

Miss Grace said...

I just signed up for Match this week. I'll have to let you know how it goes.

Joy @ Big Time Fancy said...

Shit, I would date you BECAUSE of the snuggie.

Blaez said...

snuggies are awesome

and you pretty much nailed sleezo.

you can just tell by thier profiles when thier not going to be a good date

LBluca77 said...

Oh pictures with a cat is a definate no no. The sad thing about some of the pictures guys put up on their profiles is that they not only think they look good but those are probably the best pictures they have of themselves.

insomniaclolita said...

No no no you look rockin with that snuggie. Oh how I want a snuggie :)

Anyway, yeah most are definitely deal breakers, especially when they state they just have time for pretty women when they're you know, uggos.

elle michelle said...

Heh, you look like a monk. ;-)

Angela said...

Smoking is a no-go. Along with being very closed-minded, arrogant, or ignorant.

Maris said...

If they mention sex in their profiles...seriously, we'll just ASSUME you like it but we don't need to talk about it until we've at least, oh, met in person or something.

Nicole said...

Okay, rocking a snuggie in a dating profile pic? I'm probably going to steal that idea. Thats awesome, how could any man resist the snuggie?

*Jac* said...

I love the Snuggie picture! I would totally date you if I was a guy.. just so I could get to know that Snuggie better. And my major turn off... kids.

Summershoegal said...

total dating turn-off: living home with mom and dad!!
Ok I live at home too, but I am a student so Iam allowed too!!
Otherwise you covered all the nonos!
Buuuut I love guys with cats!
xoxo
p.s. love the snuggie

Deutlich said...

I swear, that snuggie is all the rage these days..

SoMi's Nilsa said...

This post is bringing me back, my dear! You know I used match.com for many many YEARS. And that I met Sweets through that venue, right?!? Ahhhh ...

So, your list is pretty much spot on. I'd agree with most everything. Except the pictures with pets. I think guys are just trying to show they're the loving type. Ya know?!

My biggest turn-off? Most of the time it had to do with guys putting up pictures of themselves from many MANY years before. If you can't be happy with who you are TODAY, how the heck can I be happy with you, right?!

Ellegant said...

I have to ask - is the Snuggy actually...well, snuggable??

I tried Match.com twice and a big turn off was when the guy seemed entirely too eager to talk. Sure, I'd like you to show interest in what I have to say, but if we haven't met yet, there is no reason my e-mail inbox should be overflowing with your e-mails. Play a little hard ball - please!

RecoveringActor said...

I for some reason keep dating guys who act like they're 16... when they're 25. Granted, I've been with my DBf for 6 years now, so he doesn't count, but all the ones before then.

PS--Have you read "Why Women Hate Men"??? It's hilarious.. and written by a man. Seriously NSFW though. But really hilarious. I'll send you a link if you want (i have the link at home)

High-heel gal said...

I so agree - when I man's profile says he "likes to workout" and likes women who do the same, but then you can't tell that he works out, well, that's a turn-off.

Cass said...

guys seriously write these things??? what are they thinking?!

love the snuggie, you look hot!
:)

Fabulously Broke said...

It seems like there are more normal women than men on those things.

Jacqueline said...

It's official: I want a Snuggie!

I can't believe people actually write those things on their profile. It just seems so abnormal.

The other day in the mall I saw a man with a shirt that said "my other girlfriend is a stripper." So strange!

Tiffany said...

I totally agree with your turn offs, and have one to add, maybe you've seen it. The guys who have multiple pictures of themselves with other girls, as if to say, yes I can get girls and you would be lucky to have me. I don't need to know that you dated a tall blonde or girls who regularly wear bikinis.

Saniqua said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ANG* said...

ha nice list. i dont have much experience in the online-dating world...but i hear ya on all those fronts.

have you had any luck?

Miss Marie said...

HAHAHA! Those were so funny, and so right on!

I especially hate when men want women to be in perfect shape, with manicured nails, and model hair and then have a huge beer belly and nasty back hair. Seriously? Why should I bust my ass to be seen around town with someone like that? No thank you!

:) Snuggie cuteness

Katelin said...

it reminds me of people's myspace pages. like the ridiculous photos people would put up, oh man those are such a turn off.

Cheryl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cheryl said...

Major misspellings and typos. If they don't take the time and attention in putting together their profile, what does that say about them? Also, if they don't care enough about their profile to make sure they don't look like a complete idiot, I don't care enough to read it.

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surviving myself said...

On the other hand, if a guy wants to meet you after seeing the Snuggie pic, he's a keeper.

Or maybe psycho.

Jamie said...

OMG! do you actually own that snuggie!?

Jamie said...

OMG! do you actually own that snuggie!?

RebeccaC said...

Totally see your point. My RED Snuggie is much more appealing.

SarahBeth said...

I have a bachelors degree in journalism and am therefore somewhat of a grammar-Nazi. So when I briefly tried online dating I judged men by what they wrote in their description. If I found mistakes I passed. I can't bother wasting my time on someone who is too lazy to use spell check! ;-)

Chub to Chic in Chicago said...

oooh, snuggie! or a robe: backwards.

i have been online dating since 2004 ... with little to no success. i am actually writing a book inspired by all of the crazy-ass dates i went on. it's comedy gold, i swear.

but my favorite was the guy who spent the entire coffee date talking about his ex-wife, who he clearly was not yet over, because he continued to refer to her as 'wife'. blergh.

dolcechic said...

I want a snuggie! Dating turn off....when a guy asks me on the first date, where do you want to raise your kids?

harper & beatrix said...

hi.

i reject for

-too many pictures of cats
-pictures that are just cars, no people
-too many spelling, grammar, and homophone mistakes (too many = 1)
-favorite books by dan brown
-the phrase "partner in crime"
-any derivative of "i'm looking for a girl who can wear sweats and watch a movie one night and get all dressed up for a nice dinner or a play the next"

and what's the deal with guys posting pictures of themselves holding other people's kids? i get that you are gentle, but it's confusing. and i'm not looking for a babydaddy.

~beatrix

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

that's the best picture ive seen all day

thatShortChick said...

i must know, why were you wearing the snuggie?

and any man who writes that stuff on his profile and is serious gets a big "EW!" from me. so mature, i know.

Bobbie said...

I think you look cute in the Snuggie! Though I agree, I don't know if I would have the guts to post a pic of MYSELF in a snuggie on a dating website...

I hated almost all of the people on all of the dating websites I was ever part of. I think for every 100 profiles I saw, there were maybe 1 or 2 people I might want to talk to...

What really annoyed me most, though, were people who
--had crazy high expectations/standards
--people who wrote to me saying 'hey, what's up, do you want to chat?' Seriously...if you want to chat, say something interesting that I can respond to. Don't ask if I want to chat. If you don't have anything else to say, then the answer is DEFINITELY no.
--people who can't type/spell worth a damn.

I DID meet my boyfriend I'm with now through a dating website, though. He's seriously one in a million, though...

anne said...

omg you have a snuggle!!! i totally want one but in RED haha

Debbie said...

A hairy chest. Yuck. Nothing else needs to be said about that!

lifeintheleftlane said...

I love making fun of the Snuggie commercials, but I would totally buy one.

My biggest pet peeve is when not attractive guys act like they will only date a hot girl. Like a hot girl wants to date a dumpy guy? I think not!

Lil' Woman said...

Wow I can't believe people write that...but I am totally digging the blue Snuggie..lol

Ellegant said...

In the spirit of keeping things consistent, you've got an award :). Check my page for details!

Ashley D said...

Are you ready? I emailed this to Maris a couple days ago. Here are my worst OkCupid guys:

The Most Private Thing I'm Willing To Admit Here: I'm naked right now.

The First Thing(s) People Notice About Me Are: My round butt.

The Most Private Thing I'm Willing To Admit Here: Big Bird used to be my lover. He left me for snuffy.

On A Typical Friday Night I Am: living on the outside of my skin.

You Should Message Me If:
You like/tolerate sports.
You like to get up and do things most times.
You like to make fun of other people and their profiles.
You have or wish you had a pet.
You play World Of Warcraft, what server are you on? LOL
You thought the movie the secretary was both hot and an interesting love story.
You have a profile Icon that says you are "more kinky"

iheart-orange said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
iheart-orange said...

Check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h05ZQ7WHw8Y

OK do you really own a snuggie? Or is this just a Photoshopped pic? And where are you? You look like you're at work or in some commercial building. You can not be wearing a snuggie at work!?! LOL

You put together a great list. Smoking is a major turnoff/dealbreaker.
Along with mental instability, excessive drinking and drug use. Which should probably be a given. And yes, I consider pot to be a drug, although some people don't.)
Pot belly/back hair.

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The Modern Gal said...

So, I'm just getting caught up on my blogreading, and oh my goodness. Do guys really, really, really think they're going to attract anyone by doing these things?

I've thought about signing up for one of the sites, but the problem is I live in a much smaller city than you and the online dating pool is much, much shallower and yet still filled with guys like this. Eek.

nieve said...

I actually have a slanket very simular to the blue snuggie and it's the best present i've ever had! there are so many things that turn me off certain dating profiles but the worst is when they go on about the ex, more than cats or tshirts saying i love hot momma's, i can forgive and try to get along but as soon as he's upset still over the ex forget it.

The other thing is location, why flirt with someone so far away that you'll never ever meet up, i use an online dating london based so there's a chance of actually finding someone real.

Free Dating - Confonder.com said...

I hate pretentious people and this one really turns me off. I hate great profile and knowing at the end that it all was a trash invented fake persona.

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Cameron Sharpe said...

Read the safety articles on dating - there are many available. They’ll make you feel a lot more secure and you’ll be able to carry out secure dating correspondence in no time. Once you’ve set your profile, the chances are high that you’ll find someone who has the same interests you have. Email exchange via the site usually is the next step. If you haven’t already, give it a shot, you’ll be impressed.

Ryan said...

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