Wednesday, April 1, 2009

The truth about cramps

Being a woman is tough. Let's look beyond the whole "glass ceiling" discussion and get down to what sucks the most, having your period. Because that includes cramps.

Thanks to my "no baby pills," my cramps are better than in high school, but lately, I think the media has been giving cramps a bad name. Tonight I saw a Midol commercial and felt like a freak. Mostly because I wasn't nearly as miserable as those ladies, who could barely find the will or desire to move, dress or do anything other than bitch about pain.

Man up ladies, pop those pills and move on. If I took a day off when my cramps were bad, I would be out at least two days a month from work. I need to use vacation time, but I'm not using it for something like that.

Yes, I have been in cramp-induced pain before where I can barely eat, sleep, think or focus, but I don't whine about it, or do as the ladies in the commercial do. They walk around the apartment whining like a little b*tch, stand half dressed in front of the mirror poking at the bloating like a jellyfish and struggle to get their pants on.

While this may be a reality for some, these women in the commercial are adults. That's high school behavior. And aren't cramps a sign that eggs are making their way through your fallopian tubes? That's a good thing, quit bitching.

Oh and pass me some salty chips, my cramps need some. Kthxbye.

I won't ask you to share personal cramps stories, but let me know if I'm off-base in my review of these commercials. I just find them so comical that I had to write about it.

What commercials do you find to be totally ridiculous?

Reader note: Thanks everyone for the great comments about high heels. I'm glad to see I'm not the only lady, and petite one at that with this issue. I plan to get the Foot Petals and Dr. Scholls this weekend and try them out. Maybe it's time for a foot-insert showdown?

24 comments:

LBluca77 said...

I hate those commercials too. Especially when the women act like the cramps last for a straight 24 hour period. (no pun intended) For me they come and go for a few days and you know what to expect since they return every month.

I hate tampon commercials where the girls are all frolicking at the beach in bikinis. Ok that is so not going to happen, especially the first few days. It is so beyond ridiculous.

jlc said...

Yessss! When they say "the bloating" ... and there's a picture of the woman getting bigger.

All I think of is Violet in Willy Wonka. Then again, I'm not normal. ;)

golublog said...

I hate those commercials though my cramps are intense, it's probably cause i never went on those no baby pills.

Moonjava said...

Guys have it easy I say! Seriously we get the monthly cramps, the pregnancy and the hot flashes...

And yes cramps sucks, some months worse than other but not that debilitating (maybe once). I do know someone though that takes a day or two off work when Flo is in town...sometimes I wish I could be a little bit mean and say "Suck it up", take some pills or drink some tea!

Blaez said...

i must agree with you 100%. i have constant back pain now that's some pain to bitch about. and i do have cramps occasionally when i get my period. id rather have menstral cramps than back pain.

Maki said...

Seriously, don't you hate those CM's? I am sure there are many other women who are suffering from heavy cramps and some do get really sick, but, I believe it's all part of being a woman.

We had this girl at work who was miserable during her period. I'm sure it's not pleasant, but oh boy, she was really unhappy and her mood totally sucked because of cramping. She is only 21 and I was like.."Girl, what are you going to do when you have a baby???" Deal with it..

Caz said...

hahaha ok, I admit I'm lucky and don't have TOO terrible of cramps. Nothing a little midol won't fix.

But I just had to share this tidbit of info... Yesterday we were discussing our periods and my friend? refers to hers as "gushing". Yes. Gushing. If that doesn't sound like one of the grossest descriptors for a period, then I don't know what is.

Mandy said...

I agree with you. Man up and get on with things. Cramps suck but we deal with them, eat some chocolate, bitch someone out and move on. =)

And yes, I would appreciate a showdown please. I would completely trust our scientific testing methods.

lucklys said...

i don't have a tv (well i do, but i only use it for video games and watching movies, no tv) therefore, i don't get to see all those commercials. i probably wouldn't like them either.

i will say though, that since i no longer can afford the pills, and because i don't have health insurance, i've been off of them for almost 4 months now...and it's been utter hell. my cramps are so bad they make me vomit. literally. i will sit in the bathroom for 2 or 3 days just heaving and writing in pain no matter how many advil or ibuprofen i swallow (plus i don't want to kill myself on over the counter pain killers...talk about cliche). so i can see where the ads might be coming from, but they probably made them that way to appeal to the people who really don't enjoy the feeling of their insides being ripped apart.

wontletlifedefineme said...

What really irritates me is this commercial for sanitary pads that feature bumpy cars being kept in check by the pads' special 'secure guard' lining and then the slogan 'have a happy period!'... seriously?!
I find that certain yoga poses help a great deal with cramps, that and pelvic circles and shimmies from bellydancing (it was tailored to women of course).

PLP said...

I get terrible cramps sometimes!! But still, it's a fact of life right? If we kept taking days off work, we'd get nowhere - we'd get left behind.

SO yea, pop the Midol, because it works, and get to work!

SoMi's Nilsa said...

As Sweets will attest, I tend to tune out during commercials. I can be looking right at the tv and seemingly following along. But, when Sweets laughs or points something out and looks to me for a reaction, I usually give him a blank stare.

stealthnerd said...

You're so lucky if you don't relate to those ladies! There are just some months where NO amount of pain medication can make me uncurl from the fetal position and stop crying. I sooo envy girls who don't get cramps!

Hallie said...

Yea I gotta agree with most of you where I'm usually thinking just suck it up if someone is complaining. I did recently go off the no baby pills though and things got so much worse that I actually had to start taking medicine for it. I still don't take off work or anything...I mean if we were to all peace out 2 days a month, the female gender would never get anywhere!

Grace said...

yeah, i think the older you get the less horrid cramps are. they did suck in high school though.

oh, and i hate Jarred jewelry commercials. hate them. if my boyfriend ever went to jarred i'd throw his gift out the window.

A Super Girl said...

So, I've never really had PMS, so those Midol commercials always struck me as a bit... off.

Yet, now that I've been consistently on the no baby pills for awhile, I'm noticing that I'm getting headaches every month. And I never get headaches. Especially not ones that pound away for 48 hours straight. But here they are, making my forehead their bitch.

Sure they're not that bad, it's not like a turn-out-the-lights-put-a-pillow-over-your-head migraine, but I've still been known to whine my way through it. And then the Midol ads begin to make some sense :-)

Miss Grace said...

I don't really get cramps. And I'm not complaining.

thatShortchick said...

I used to get painful cramps in my late teens but now they are much more bearable. I find that exercising reduces the pain A LOT.

SA said...

So agree. I still have relatively bad cramps (they aren't as bad as when I was a teenager) but I don't go and complain about them to every person in my vicinity. It's a part of life. Take the Midol pills and deal with it.

SarahBeth said...

Those commercials are a bit ridiculous, I agree. I, too, once had mind-numbing cramps waaaaaay back in high school. Solution: get on the pill and they magically disappear. I think these commercials are simply justification for lazy chicas who use any excuse to not work, exercise, etc. Just my opinion. ;-) Suck it up, ladies!

Cheryl said...

Amen. And trust me, I actually was known to miss school back in the day when it got bad (yay no-baby pills!) But as an adult...sheesh.

Although when it comes to periods and commercials, I still say nothing is worse that "Have a happy period." Gag.

Rebekah said...

No-Baby SHOTS. Depo Provera, once every 3 months, has killed the cramps and knocked the old crimson tide down to about 1 day a month.

And you get an extra 0.009% protection.

Fabulously Broke said...

I have never gotten very bad cramps. No wait I lied

Once. When I was young, I had just started running and rowing.. the extra exercise killed my body and I CRAMPED BADLY...

Fabulously Broke in the City

"Just a girl trying to find a balance between being a Shopaholic and a Saver."

Chub to Chic in Chicago said...

i carry around a family size bottle of ibruprofen during that time of the month.