So I'm keeping this kind of short today, I hope you can forgive me.
I've been meaning to blog for a bit about my grandma, god love her. She's always been kind of quirky with no internal filter on what comes out of her mouth, but as she has gotten older, she's a little more bold with what she says. I can always count on a rude comment coming out of her mouth toward me at Thanksgiving and a scowl of disapproval toward my city lifestyle. This of course has been capitalized upon since my baby brother got married this summer. Thanks to this, I'm totally in the clear of her worrying because she said - and I quote - "we're so glad we were able to stay alive to see one more good thing happen." Yes, I'm dying alone, thanks for the memo.
Because of grandma's somewhat loose lips, I have become a bad granddaughter and I don't call her and my grandpa as much as I should. I do love my grandma, but all of my calls to them start with me psyching myself up, saying "they don't know any better, they mean well."
Below is a snippet (taking some creative license) of a recent conversation with grandma about her favorite topic, my love life.
Scene: Me working in the kitchen (not cooking) and doing my obligatory bi-weekly touch base call
Grandma: Jessica how is your love life?
Me: *crickets chirping* Non-existent?
Grandma: Oh well you mention this boy all the time
Me: *sigh* He's just a friend grandma, guys and girls can be friends
Grandma: Oh well you just mention him a lot and I thought maybe it would turn into something more than that
Me: Nope, just friends
Grandma: Well you're too skinny, guys don't like girls who are too skinny
Me: I definitely wouldn't say I'm skinny, let's not talk about this anymore
Grandma: Well then, you're definitely not as heavy as you used to be
Grandma: Just remember that your job can't cook you dinner
Me: Yeah well it sure pays for things that reheat well. Okay I have to go, I'll call you guys again........soon
Sign me up for an express ticket to h*ll! Fingers crossed for a window seat in the dry heat section!
Hmm I should actually call to check in again this weekend, I wonder what the topic of conversation will be this time. *shudder*