I never intentionally say cruel things (contrary to popular belief), but sometimes I do lie to myself a little bit. I will verbally say things that I have honorable intentions of doing but then never actually do them.
I do this a lot because I believe in my scattered head that if I say these things out loud enough, I'll actually do it, but that never seems to happen.
For example, here are a list of lies I've said to myself recently and my inner monologue toward each:
- Start going to the gym more (shut up no you're not. You're there four days a week, do you think you'll actually get off your a** and go? No I didn't think so, but we'll go walk outside)
- Cut back on the amount of beer I drink (FAIL, whatever, we'll switch to wine then)
- Call my grandparents more (Yes please let's call them more so grandma can tell us you're too fat or skinny and that you'll die alone. Super)
- Be nicer to rude customer service people (I don't think Rage Girl will like this - wait she might be getting angry already)
- Get up earlier (why not? I already can't sleep in so I may as well catch up on morning TV. At least on Saturday there is a 90210 marathon on SoapNet)
- Lose 10 more pounds (Ah sure we can do this as soon as you lay off the candy. I know it calls to us)
- Re-organize my closet and keep it organized (We'll try, but no guarantees)
So while I have good intentions to actually do them, according to my brain, some are going to be easier to achieve than others. I think my brain will win on this too.
Backtracking a little bit, on occasion, I will lie to my friends, but I do it because I love them and want to help them. For example, when friends are upset and they are looking for advice or comfort, I will say things that are genuine, but not always 100 percent true. I'm being supportive of them and telling them what they want to hear to feel better, rather than being honest and possibly causing a fight.
Sadly, I've been in this situation a lot in the past and when I tried to be honest...it didn't end well and it damaged a lot of friendships. When you're really upset about something, you don't want someone judging you or making you feel worse, you just want someone to hold you and tell you it will all be okay. And that's...okay.
Before I move on, I do want to say that there are certain situations in which you should be a brutally honest friend, but sometimes, it's just not worth the fight. And if the tables were turned, I'd rather have my friends lie to me. I really don't think there is anything wrong with that either.
So maybe I am a liar, but sometimes the truth is a little tougher to take. And as long as I don't lose my grip on reality, sometimes lying to others and to yourself is the best option.
I fear asking, but am I the only one who says things like this that they don't 100 percent mean?
Reader note: Thank you so much everyone for your great comments on yesterday's lunchtime habits! I'm so glad to hear that there are other PB&J fans and that I'm not the only one who "brown bags" it every day. I cannot wait for treat day Friday too.