Thursday, January 15, 2009

Stamp of parental/friend approval

Were you more scared to introduce your boyfriend/girlfriend to your friends or parents?

I'm thinking about this because eventually, any man I date will be meeting both, but I don't know which meeting concerns me the most. Actually, concerns is a bad word, makes me nervous is a better way to describe it.

My friends aren't scary but they can be a little intimidating and because I've teased them so much about their relationships, I fear what it will be like when it comes back around.

My dad isn't scary either but he's very...reserved and when he gets that way around guys I like and it makes me very uncomfortable because I can see him scrutinizing them with his eyes. Plus, he's only met one boyfriend before and he hated him immediately so I want to make sure I'm serious about a guy before I bring one in front of him.

(This could happen, fortunately our basement isn't that big)

Maybe this opens it up to a bigger question, how important is your parents or friends approval of your boyfriend/girlfriend? 

One of my friends says she doesn't want her boyfriend to ask for her father's permission to propose, and teases that her fiance will meet her parents at the wedding. I joke about it too because I don't like confrontation and I fear that the meeting could go badly, but deep down, my dad's approval of any man I marry is important to me. And of course I want him to get along with my friends because they are a huge part of my life too.

I know this is a random topic for a Thursday, but I have three days of "matches" to review tonight and this weekend so it got me thinking. Fingers crossed Prince Charming is in there.

How does everyone else feel about this topic?

Reminder!
If you are a 20sb member, you can still vote for me for the Last Chance award! Help me continue to close out my twenties in style. You can vote for me here.

Reader note: I was pretty amazed at the Crocs comments from Tuesday's post. Holy cow. There are some real lovers and haters of it. And I know some of you hate Uggs, but I strongly endorse them too. They kept my feet and legs warm in -25 degree wind chills today. Woo! And to answer sjane's question, no I don't wear Crocs while carrying Speedy. I think the fashion gods would strike me down!

46 comments:

Miss Grace said...

I WANT my parents and friends to approve. I'm not sure how important it is if they don't.

Will you please share your experiences with Match? I'm thinking of taking the plunge.

Rachel said...

My Dad is by far one of the most laid back guys you will ever meet, but it freaks most guys out. It's like reverse psychology, he is so relaxed he HAS to be planning their death....

reederscorner said...

I respect my parents so much so it means a lot what they think about a new boyfriend, but their awesome, so they usually like every guy I've ever brought home

Maki said...

I think it was my dad that I was nervous about when I introduced my husband for the first time. My mom was always happy with the guys I dated (i don't know if it was a good thing or bad?), but my dad??? He could be so like De Niro from Meet the Parents. LOL.

I remember we went out together (Hubs, me and parents) and my dad told us women to go shopping and he took my hubs to a bar at the mall. When we came back and saw them chatting and laughing from distance, I was so relieved!!!

Mandy said...

my mom, brother, and friends are a huge part of my life so its important to me that they like and get along well with any guy I am really serious about. However, I will not bring any guy around unless I am absolutely serious, my brother is worse than most fathers.

Maxie said...

I'm not really worried about my family's approval (my mom would love anyone), but my friends mean a lot. They're usually right.

Callie said...

My friends, for sure.

...

My father will meet the hubbie-to-be on the wedding day, lol.

Angela said...

Honestly, I am more concerned about what my friends think about a boyfriend than my parents. I really don't think I could date a man that my friends couldn't stand. I trust my friends' opinions so much, and I don't think I'd even date a guy anyway that I know my friends wouldn't like, even without them meeting him. I know what I deserve. My friend Richelle dated a boy in high school that we all HATED. He was the worst boyfriend in the world, but she still stayed with him. There's no way that I could do that. It hurt our friendship a little bit because she would keep going back to him and not listening to us.

What my parents think about a man I date IS important, don't get me wrong, but to me, it doesn't matter AS much.

Bridget said...

It is funny that you wrote about this as I have a bit of an awkward situation when it comes to my mom and my friends meeting the guy I am dating. He's significantly older and I worry that it will be awkward. (We were friends for a long time and we only began "dating" a month ago.)

However, I realized as long as I am happy, that's all that matters in the end. Not to mention that everyone has given their pre-approval...

Megan said...

I pretty much never intend on introducing boyfriends to my parents unless I'm going to marry the man, no need for useless anxiety. Goodluck with Prince Charming. Hooray for Matches!!

Joy @ Big Time Fancy said...

Oh it TOTALLY matters.
For one, my significant other is going to have to be around my friends and family at some point because...they're important to me. It is to the benefit of all for them all to get along.

Also, my sister is probably the best judge of character of all time. If she likes a boy, everyone will like the boy. And she liked The Architect, so that was cool. And my friends liked him, and my parents liked him. So....hooray.

It makes stuff easier when all the important people in life get along.

PoisonIvy068 said...

i'd have to agree...having my friends and family "approve" of my boyfrind is important because those are to MAIN parts of my life. being in a interracial relationship made it even more stressful because we come from to completely different cultures (im a northerner (PA) & he's an island boy (st. thomas)) but thank god everything worked out for the best and everyone gets along.

Heidi Renée said...

Hey! I gave you an award. Go here to collect it, then pass it on if you feel like it.

Megan said...

I was never nervous about my boyfriend meeting my friends because I had told them so much about him in advance and knew how sweet they thought he was.

I was really nervous about my parents however, but more about just TELLING them that we were dating than them MEETING him since my mom knew him from before and I knew she already thought he was a good guy. But I wasn't sure if she would approve of us dating.

But she did! And all is well. :)

and her heart it is in ireland said...

I would be more worried about introducing a boyfriend to a few of my closes friends, these girls know me almost better than I do and so if they didn't like him, I would really consider what they don't like.
But my parents also really matter too, they seem to have a great judge of character and while they've only met 1 of my 3 boyfriends, they were slightly hesitant about the other 2 when I talked about him and I should have listened to my parents better.

Hope looking over the matches goes well!

Charlee said...

Parents! Because mine are crazy, yet I do care about their opinions...

I want my friends to like my lover, obviously, but I don't really feel it is a necessity and they aren't too difficult to please!

wontletlifedefineme said...

Well, I have it pretty easy because my now-boyfriend and I used to hang out with the same people all the time, and I actually met him through my friends that way. They've been really supportive of us being together, even before we hooked up! My family loves him, he has a lot in common with my brother and sister-in-law because he loves to travel, and he's a very social person. I get on well with his family too, although his mother and I had to get used to each other a bit. For me it's really important that in a serious relationship you get on with each other's family. You're not an island, and neither is your relationship.

Good luck with the search for prince charming!

Erin said...

I think both are important. Not so much "approval", but I want my parents and friends to like my significant other.

Now, being married, if people don't like Ted (not possible), I'd say that they probably wouldn't be a very good friend. He's not going anywhere, so either get over it or we can't be friends.

Jamie said...

I think the approval I seek most is that of my sister and her husband, along with a few of my close friends. I just want to know that if we are all hanging out, it will be a good time, not that awkward we dont really like each other but have to hang out stuff. that's the most important to me, I think!

The Maiden Metallurgist said...

My friends love Josh, they'd all been reading his blog for a while before they met him. My parents were another story. We were already living together when my parents met him, so to them it all seemingly came out of nowhere, and there was actually strife when we announced our engagement. But they came around. That is what parents (and friends for that matter) do.

Ray said...

My parents are seriously the nicest, most accepting people on the planet so I would never be nervous about introductions. My in-laws, on the other hand, are an entirely different story...

Jenn said...

Friends/parental approval isn't the be all end all of a relationship, but it'd be nice to have their support.

They're my friends, my family, they should want me to be happy. Now of course, if this guy was dangerous or changing who I was, I'd completely understand...but, I still have to come to that realization on my own...not through them.

Jen K said...

I'm actually not scared about them meeting my parents in that sense. I'm more scared that my parents will really like them, and then when we inevitably break up I'll have to deal with their sadness too :(

mistressmom said...

I don't want/need anyone's approval for anything, so I guess this doesn't really apply to me. LOL But I will say that it's awesome that my folks and friends enjoy the occasional company of my psuedo boyfriend-cum-baby's daddy.

Katie Killary said...

I think the Uggs are cute! I actually want a pair...

So I met my boyfriend's parents early on. He wanted them to see who I am and what I'm like since there could have been a little bit of doubt over the long distance thing we have going on... I'm in NY and he's in FL!

I think it's important to meet the parents, but there's nothing wrong with breaking tradition and waiting til the wedding, ha ha!

SoMi's Nilsa said...

When I was dating, I took a slightly different approach. Because my parents live on the east coast and I'm in the midwest, whenever they were in town, I'd generally bring along the guy I was dating. My parents were always been cool about the guys I dated, so, it was never a big deal to me (though it was, sometimes, for the guys). Same held true for friends. If I was dating a guy, I'd generally bring him around my friends. It was never a big deal.

liz said...

I completely respect and take into consideration both my parents and my friends opinions of the people I date.

Sometimes I take their comments too seriously though.

theeclecticconnoisseur said...

It was very important that my parents and my friends liked my husband. I was more nervous about him meeting my friends than my folks. My friends can be pretty tough critics. After meeting some of the losers I dated, my parents immediately fell in love with him. We all knew he was "the one".

Katelin said...

i got lucky with matt because we were friends before and he knew all my friends and family pretty well except my college friends. and luckily they all got along great, so that made my life a hundred times easier. and i would say that if everyone didn't approve as much i know i would be somewhat concerned, i would definitely love my family's approval of the man i plan to marry, but that's just me :)

S. said...

I would like them to approve and it's nerve racking to introduce (friends & family).

If they don't, oh well, my relationship not theirs. Plus, I pretend to like all their sig-others I'd expect them to pretend too.

I'm so single at this point that they just may look at him as though he were an alien from outter space.

*sigh*

laurwilk said...

Well, I've always been a big Daddy's Girl and my dad's approval is very important. However, there have certainly been some boys he did not approve of and I went right on dating them anyways.

Now, if we were talking marriage, that'd be a whole other level. A whole other level that I haven't really even gotten to yet in my 'too young' brain.

I suppose the most important stamp of approval for me is that of my siblings. If my siblings like him, he's in. If not, he's out.

Amy said...

It is not very important to me, what my friends think, as they mean so much to me!

Bobbie said...

I have never been with anyone that my family or friends hated. But if I was, I would try to listen to their concerns and see if they were legitimate, and if I disagreed, try to make them see why I am with that person. I feel like I have good judgment and I would hope they would respect me for that, as well as respect the person I am with.

I am so lucky -- everyone in my family LOVES the Mr. and my friends do, too.

My sister's husband is very hated. I kind of feel bad for him and try to be as nice to him as possible. I understand why my family doesn't like him, but they should be more respectful.

Princess Pointful said...

It's funny... I thought my friends were cool with my ex, but now when I see how much they adore The Duke, I see what true approval looks like!!

stealthnerd said...

I totally wanted my parents to approve. Luckily for me, they met my boyfriend before we were dating and both said to me, and to each other, "why can't she date a nice boy like that!" Suffice it to say they were pleased to hear we were eventually dating. And since we've been together almost 2 years they absolutely love him!

Lacey Bean said...

I think it's important for both parties to like who you are dating. I've dated people my parents didnt like and that wasn't fun, and I've dated people my friends haven't liked, and that wasn't fun either!!

The major test with me is if my BFF Allison likes the guy... cause she doesn't like anyone! Hahaha. And she's only REALLY liked 2 guys I've dated, and 1 of them is Dave. :)

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

the approval of my friends and family is VERY important to me. it would be a deal breaker actually.

my mom/friends usually always end up being right anyways.

James said...

I think friends approval is WAY WAY more important. A) because friends can sometimes know you better than anyone else and usually can tell you the truth, even when it hurts a little to hear it and B) it would suck hard core to not be able to hang out with your friends AND your boyfriend and have it not be awkward. I'm pretty lucky because my best friend's husband is best friends with my boyfriend, so we're all one little happy best friend family.

I want to vote for you! I clicked the link, now what? Did I vote?? I'm a little challenged with this apparently...

Blaez said...

here's the deal.

i want my friends to get along with my boyfriend because i know that at some point we'll all be hanging out and it'll be necessary for them to get along and have fun.

i don't want my friends to be better friends with my man than i am because we have what happened before and they cheated together (the ex not the current)

once we have been dating seriously for a while i do take my boyfriends home to meet the parents. i have only had a few of them, most people don't get to meet my parents because i know its not going to last. when i first told my dad about joe i was so nervous. if daddy didn't like joe i didn't know WHAT i was going to do. i was spazzing out about it.

thank all the gods and all things awesome that my daddy and my sisters and MomI LOVE joe! they love him as much as I do...

So here comes the hard part. HIS FAMILY! i'm deathly afraid his mom wont like me. Or that I wont get along with his Sister-In-Laws (he has all brothers). Sigh. We are going to florida in a few months to meet part of them. I am so scared right now.

EP said...

I would love for my parents and friends to approve of my guy. They've all only met two of my boyfriends, one of which is my boy, and they have liked them both.

I don't know what I would do if they didn't approve, but if I liked the guy enough, I suppose we would deal with it?

HBee said...

Great topic! I'd want my parents and friends to like my significant other, for sure.

ed said...

情趣用品,情趣,情色,成人,A片,自拍,情趣用品,情趣,色情,成人影片,色情影片,免費A片,情趣用品,情趣,成人網站,A片下載,日本AV,做愛,情趣用品,情趣,美女交友,A片,辣妹視訊,情色視訊,情趣用品,情趣,色情聊天室,聊天室,AV,成人電影,A片,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣商品,情趣,情趣情色,A片,AIO,AV,日本AV,色情A片,AV女優,A漫,免費A片,A片下載,情色A片,哈啦聊天室,UT聊天室,聊天室,豆豆聊天室,色情聊天室,尋夢園聊天室,080視訊聊天室,080聊天室,080苗栗人聊天室,免費視訊聊天,上班族聊天室,080中部人聊天室,視訊聊天室,視訊聊天,成人聊天室,一夜情聊天室,辣妹視訊,情色視訊,成人,成人影片,成人光碟,成人影城,自拍情趣用品,A片,AIO,AV,AV女優,A漫,免費A片,日本AV,寄情築園小遊戲,情色貼圖,色情小說,情色文學,色情,色情遊戲,一葉情貼圖片區,色情網站,色情影片,微風成人, 嘟嘟成人網,成人,成人貼圖,18成人,成人影城,成人圖片,成人影片,UT聊天室,聊天室,豆豆聊天室,尋夢園聊天室,080聊天室,080苗栗人聊天室,080視訊聊天室,視訊聊天室情趣用品,A片,aio,av,av女優,a漫,免費a片,aio交友愛情館,a片免費看,a片下載,本土自拍,自拍,愛情公寓,情色,情色貼圖,色情小說,情色文學,色情,寄情築園小遊戲,色情遊戲,嘟嘟情人色網,一葉情貼圖片區,色情影片,情色網,色情網站,微風成人,嘟嘟成人網,成人,18成人,成人影城,成人圖片,成人貼圖,成人圖片區,成人小說,成人電影情趣用品,情趣,情趣商品,自拍,UT聊天室,聊天室,豆豆聊天室,哈啦聊天室,尋夢園聊天室,080聊天室,080苗栗人聊天室,H漫,A片,AV,AV女優,A漫,免費A片,愛情公寓,情色,情色貼圖,色情小說,情色小說,情色文學,色情,寄情築園小遊戲,色情遊戲,SEX,微風成人,嘟嘟成人網,成人,18成人,成人影城,成人圖片,成人貼圖,成人圖片區情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣商品,A片,A片,A片,A片,A片,A片,中古車,二手車,情色小說,色情,情色視訊,寄情築園小遊戲,AIO交友愛情館,色情遊戲,情色交友,嘟嘟情人色網,言情小說,一葉情貼圖片區,情色論壇,色情影片,情色網,色情漫畫,UT聊天室,聊天室,豆豆聊天室,哈啦聊天室,尋夢園聊天室,視訊聊天室,080聊天室,視訊聊天,美女交友,視訊做愛,情色視訊,免費視訊A片,A片,A片下載,做愛,成人電影,18成人,日本A片,情色小說,情色電影,成人影城,自拍,情色論壇,成人論壇,情色貼圖,情色,免費A片,成人,成人光碟

Anonymous said...

What's up to every , as I am truly eager of reading this weblog's post tο be uρdateԁ
regulагlу. It сontainѕ niсe informatіon.


Ηerе is my web blοg - Aerial Lift Trucks
My blog ; bucket truck safety

Anonymous said...

I am sure this ρaragrаph has touchеd all the internet userѕ,
its гeally really goоd post on buіlding uр new web ѕite.


Here is my blog poѕt :: Bucket Truck
Feel free to surf my homepage :: locate a bucket truck

Anonymous said...

Thank уοu, Ӏ've recently been searching for information approximately this subject for a long time and yours is the greatest I'νe found out till nοw.
But, ωhаt іn гegaгds to the bottοm
line? Αге you suгe іn гegаrds to the ѕupρly?


Fеel frеe to visit mу blog poѕt dallas seo

Anonymous said...

Υou cοuld certаinly see уour skillѕ within the aгtiсlе yοu
ωrite. The arena hopеs for even more
paѕsіоnate writегѕ likе
you whο are not аfraid tο sау how they bеlieνе.

Аll the time follοw your heart.

Heгe iѕ my web site ... digital tens units