Wednesday, May 7, 2008

I swear there is a printer elf that steals from me

I work in a large office at a large office building downtown. I'm fortunate that I have a printer, bathroom, kitchen, copier and fax machine all within close proximity to my desk, just in case I need to get to one of them in a short amount of time. This is moreso needed for the printer and fax machine, but you know what I mean.

Even though this printer is close to me, I still have to share it with with all the men and women sitting in my cube-area. And recently, I've noticed that if I send something to this printer and don't go to get it right away, that it's magically gone. How is that possible? I even asked one of the women that sits near me if she accidentally grabbed my printouts when she picked up her paperwork. She claims she didn't and I guess I believe her, but where did my two-page memo go?

So now the only way I can rationalize this mystery is to imagine a little elf that hides behind the printer and pencil sharpener and pops out when he knows I've sent something to print but that I am not there to pick it up right away. The little elf, who hums a working song, jumps out, climbs up the printer and picks through the waiting papers for my stuff. He then cackles, climbs down the printer with it and goes into hiding. I don't know what he uses my paperwork for, but he has a fondness for my work apparently.

Now I wait by that printer for my stuff to go, and listen for the sweet hum of it warming up when I send a file there.

Stop stealing from me elf!! Pick on someone else for a change!!

12 comments:

Blaez said...

i use to have the same problem when i worked for "the firm".

for once i'd love to have a printer that is *MINE* and no one else uses it...

btw, you can put smokes in the freezer to keep em fresh. i use to buy multi cartons at once with my exhusband we'd keep em in the freezer. it works.

Kristen said...

Well the elf that takes your stuff must be the same elf I have at my office. It drives me NUTSO. Sometimes my elf returns the missing stuff a day later (dont ya think I already reprinted?!!!)

Maxie said...

We all have individual printers, but we also have a server printer and my stuff always disapears when I print on it too... but if I go to my boss's office I see all my shit sitting right on his desk.

Stephanie said...

The thought of this imaginary elf is terrifying...

Jenn said...

I bet his cousin is the one stealing my socks from the dryer.

RebeccaC said...

Umm, we don't usually share a printer but I'm certain I've probably stolen your papers before. Although I'm usually pretty good about it, occassionally I get back to my desk, realize I've taken something not mine and then either am a) too lazy or b) too busy or c) too forgetful to walk ALL THE WAY back to return it. The guilt is overwhelming.

Tipp said...

Hey there,
Email me at tipptalk@gmail.com

I got to thinking about what you said.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

HAAAA Just this title makes me laugh..

megkathleen said...

Those damn elves - they steal everything! Papers, clothes, cars. I've been working on an elf trap for years, but they're tricky little buggers.

Kayleigh said...

stupid printer elves!!!

Anonymous Amy said...

that elf bastard. It'd be nice if he'd at least start doing the work.

Erin said...

I have to remove my ink cartridges from my printer after school every day and hide them or someone will come and steal them out of my printer. You can't trust teachers.