Monday, March 24, 2008

More things I don't understand

I've resigned myself to that fact that while I am smart, there are things that I will never understand.

One of the things I never understand is why women "settle" for the bad relationship and/or why some of my friends who are in these bad relationships, choose to stay in them.

I bring this up because an old college friend and I were catching up on AIM when she announced that she and her ex-fiance are dating again - and I was so mad I nearly screamed out loud in my apartment. My friend is smart and funny with a great personality and the thought of her being back with this loser guy who emotionally abuses her and makes her pay for everything makes me ill. It's only a matter of time now until I get a wedding invite and I don't know what I"ll do if that happens.

I believe that people can genuinely change, but somehow, I don't think this guy has. I think he and my friend both want to be with someone so badly that they can forgive certain aspects of their personalities so that they can manage each other daily. Personally, I would never go back to a guy who called me a "f*cking bitch" or "whore" to my face or in front of my parents. My dad would kill him if he did and then me for staying with him.

In high school, I saw my friend date a loser guy, who had no future or goals (outside of smoking weed), and she ultimately got pregnant by him and was beaten by him in front of her mother (who was waiting in the car). My friends and I begged her to leave him and she didn't, which is how she ended up pregnant and with no financial support. I've been fortunate that guys I've dated never have raised a hand to me - and I would pity them if they did.

So while I sometimes lament being single, I realize that it could always be worse. I've dated a few guys who were not always that nice to me, including one who made me feel like I was ugly and that everything I did was wrong. But then that ended and while the break-up was excruciatingly painful, I eventually moved on.

And now, after hearing this news from my friend, I still declare that I would rather be single forever than unhappy in a relationship with someone who doesn't realize how fabulous I am :)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

the answer to "things I don't understand" is contained in your 2nd to last paragragh

Anonymous said...

ugly/wrong
excruciatingly painful

Anonymous said...

Women who tend to "settle" with abusing types are the ones who never had strong father role models. Typically, their fathers were never around. As a adults, these women actually enjoy the spanking they never had.