Friday, February 22, 2008

Resume/cover letter nightmare and a "mate"

To me, having confidence in yourself is a great thing, as long as it doesn't turn into arrogance. I try to be outwardly confident in my professional and personal life, but I never morph into becoming arrogant about my abilities, except in sports, because I will crush you and make you cry all the way home from my wicked trash talking.

Anyhow, what brings up this topic today is an e-mail from a friend who posted an internship ad on Craigslist and from which he received this unique response from a candidate who has a name similar to Dwight on the Office. I absolutely love The Office, which is why I also feel compelled to share this story. This intern candidate either intentionally wrote his resume and cover letter to mock the Dwight character or thought that this kind of resume/cover letter would actually work! Both options are horrifying and I promise what you are going to read below is literally copied from the documents.

Below are "highlights" from the resume and cover letter:
  • "I have three middle names: Sterling, David, and Freeman. My favorite food is chili on rice. When I was 6 years old, I discovered at a Denny's that I could say the alphabet backwards. I was grounded for being a 'sass-mouth' during the entire 8 th grade. Orienteering, backpacking, and skiing are my three favorite activities and they keep me anchored while afloat in the chaotic sea of life."
  • "I currently reside in [state removed], however I have friends in [city removed] with whom I will be living and eagerly await my finding employment. Be it e-mail, phone, or carrier pigeon, I look forward to hearing from you. "
  • Cover letter is signed "Indubitably," which does not mean "sincerely."
  • "Objective: In short, material for the memoirs."
  • Current employer: Baskin Robbins
  • "Skills: Wit, ingenuity, sense of humor; strong work ethic, commitment; amateur wordsmith; geniality; athletic ability (skiing, mountaineering, soccer, baseball, biking) Computer proficiency in MS Office Applications, Adobe Indesign, Photoshop."

There are no words to explain the shock from all of us who received this. Again, I hope this was a joke because I'm tempted to write this guy and ask him, WTF? He even italicized Facebook in his cover letter. Wow.

So after a long, short week of work, I took some quality time to stroll down Michigan Avenue, do some window shopping and "trying on" of items, while trying to maintain some self-control. Mentally though, I got awesome stuff and spent a fortune. In reality, I have items on hold, many of which I'll change my mind on tonight. So the plastic is safe again.

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