Thursday, April 3, 2008

Top Chef recap

Week 5: Sadly not that overall interesting

So we learned last week that Eric's tendency to put crap (not literally) on his plate was enough to actually send him home. Good call. Neck tattoos are scary.

So let's have some fun and ogle the men - yes Ryan I'm talking about you.

Quickfire Challenge: Demonstrate techniques (you mean outside of just cutting your food?)
Daniel Boulud is the guest judge and Padma said if we don't know who he is, that we should leave the kitchen. No problem!

Nikki is apparently going golfing at Diversey with her plaid hat. Manuel magically isn't Latin anymore and Spike is gong to the beach with a straw K-Fed fedora this week, bitchin! Dale's avocado sashimi on a bucket full of ice was pretty bad ass, and probably costs $40 at Japonais. Meanwhile Richard is crushing on his old boss, Daniel, and his hair is taking on a Conan-like height and coif. Bad ass. So Dale wins and breaks out the velour "Juicy" man-track suit to talk to the camera. And it's zipped up to the neck - hooooooot. Too bad Andrew is bitchy about Dale joining their team. No one puts Andrew in a corner.

Elimination Challenge: Meals inspired by movies
Ryan has seen two movies in three years - that slides him down the hotness scale a bit. Richard Roeper is hosting the party for his bestie - Aisha Tyler. What has she done that's noteworthy? Outside of Friends and Nip/Tuck? Moving on.

Then Ryan selects Dumb and Dumber as his favorite movie - sliding again down the hotness scale, but then he is playing charades describing the Christmas Story and we're moving back up on the scale a bit. At Whole Foods (woo! Lakeview!) Mark is talking about Christmas Story as though he's grown up watching it and I realized two things: a) he doesn't know what he is talking about at all and b) I don't think he celebrates Christmas like the rest of us.

So during the actual dinner the judges were being a bit bitchier than normal, causing even Richard Roeper to defend the competition and somehow Aisha is an expert at cuisine - too bad I was more interested where she got her sparkly top. And the new thought that's nagging me is Lisa's eyebrow ring. Isn't that considered unsanitary in a kitchen? What if that fell out?

K-Fed is bitching again about the white chocolate and wasabi sauce and it's obnoxious as always (snore). Go knock someone up, its works for the real-K-Fed, maybe it will for you.

In the end, Manuel is sent home and I was kind of shocked. Spike lead that dish and lead them astray, why is he here? Man, that guy does have K-Fed's luck.

Next week Tom is in a pissy mood and Dale unloads on the girls, bustin' it out gansta style and there's nearly a spilled Michelob in the back room.

Finally - is there anyone else who finds Elizabeth Berkeley hosting a "dancing" show ironic? What is she going to teach them, how to not get pole-burn on your breasts while swinging around on it?

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