Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Why Katie Holmes looks like a soccer mom

So yesterday's post on Heidi being a "feminist hero," according to the New York Times, seemed to touch a bit of a nerve. And in honor of that and the great feedback I received, let's press on that nerve a bit more.

Today I was cruising Us Weekly's site again and was stunned to see that Katie Holmes has cut her hair...again...shorter. I didn't think there was anything left to cut. The online picture isn't the best, but I was surprised that it could actually be Katie because she looked like a "too skinny" guy...with great cheekbones and no Adam's apple.

And the first thought that went through my head was, "she looks like the Saturday Night Live parody of 'Mom Jeans,'" where they claim "I'm not a woman anymore, I'm a mom!" In fact, Katie is looking more like the Tina Fey character in that parody. And let's be honest, Katie's not much more than a famous wife and a mom anyhow.

All that money and more bad decisions. When you have your own personal styling team, why wouldn't you want long, gorgeous hair? You don't have to worry about drying or curling it on a daily basis, that's such a load off your back! If you want, you could even shop online via Blackberry while they work on your hair. It's like being at the salon every day!

Now you might think that I'm just poking at her because I'm jealous. Well yes, I'm jealous that she used to have insanely beautiful hair, seven days a week and looked flawless all the time. But since crazy Tom Cruise came into town, the odd interview behavior - "magical," "blessed," and "lucky" - and the new wave of fabulous bags, clothes and shoes that she now sports makes me say, "meh." I love purses and if I'm not jealous of the massive red Hermes Birkin bag she carries then something must be wrong. Seriously, look at the size of that thing. You could carry part of a studio apartment in there.

Fortunately, I don't know how much shorter she can go, unless she pulls a Britney and goes bald! Now that would be worth writing about again.


shoesaplenty said...


Everyone KNOWS that Tom Cruise loves women's necklines. Have you noticed that Katie and his now-ex wife, but when she was his wife, Nicole have several pics with short or "hair up?" Pay attention to the pics and the articles.

If you really like her hair, why don't you surf EBay and see if you can find some for sale. No need to be jealous.

Or, you can buy a cat like your other friend. What do you think about women with cats? I would worry less about Heidi and Katie and worry more about women with cats. They are insane. I think it's the result of daily exposure to dander.

Does it bother you that women snuggle with their cats, kiss their paws and allow them to sleep in their clean beds -- even with those DIRTY paws which are most likely fresh from a circling trot in their kitty litter box? Gross!

Cass said...

Thanks Judgy McJudgerson.
Just remember, people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones...

Anonymous said...

WOW shoesaplenty is so sad!
should probably seek help

ShoesAPlenty said...

Cass? Glass house? If you're referring to me - you are so...ummm...wrong. I live in a beautiful condo (although I have a corner unit facing the Lake and it's all glass from ceiling to floor).

It's amazing that you all throw criticisms left and right, but when it comes to the cat lovers - you all can't handle the heat. Heidi is fabby and you all judge her. I am brilliant and you believe I need help? C'mon chickies, maybe you're all just VERY jealous wanna be city girls?

Chicago rid itself from smoking in restaurants. We should rid ourselves of cats. Smokers and cat lovers - be gone! ;-)